Have you stayed somewhere (a job, a relationship, a city) because everyone told you that was what a good mom does?

Do you notice yourself opening another mental tab before you've ever closed the last one, until your whole nervous system feels like it's running fifty browser windows at once?

I have been so excited to bring you this conversation, because Judy Tsuei is one of those women who fully embodies the work she teaches. Judy is an award-winning identity and performance coach and the author of the upcoming book Black Sheep Rising: A Shameless Guide to Disappointing Your Parents, launching November 24th. She spent years running a branding and marketing agency before turning that same skill set inward, helping high-achieving women and moms rewire the unconscious patterns running the show underneath their burnout.

In this episode, Judy opens up about walking away from an unhealthy marriage when her daughter was two, and how the cultural pressure to "stay together for the kids" almost kept her stuck in a home where the energy was teaching her daughter that this was normal. We talk about what it actually looks like to protect your kid's nervous system by regulating your own, and why redefining what a "successful relationship" means was one of the most mindful decisions she ever made.

From there, we go deep into generational trauma, how patterns get downloaded into our subconscious mind before we're even old enough to consent to them, and how Judy's NLP work helped her heal decades of tension with her parents in a single fifteen-minute session. She shares her "open loops" framework for understanding burnout (imagine fifty browser tabs your brain refuses to close), why nervous system regulation and mindfulness practice matter so much more than "trying harder," and the concept of metacognition as one of the simplest, most powerful tools for becoming a truly present mom.

If you're a high-achieving woman who feels like you're carrying everyone's weight, setting boundaries you don't yet trust, or quietly wondering what it would take to feel calm in your own body again, this episode is going to meet you exactly where you are.

• Judy's book, Black Sheep Rising: A Shameless Guide to Disappointing Your Parents (releasing November 24th) — pre-launch sign-up and community for fellow "black sheep": judytsuei.com
• Free assessments to help bring what's unconscious into conscious awareness, available on Judy's website.
• Connect with Judy on Instagram @judytsuei and LinkedIn: in/judytsuei

Journal Prompts:

• Where in my life am I letting perfectionism sabotage my progress?
• Where in my life am I holding a tab open that's ready to close?

• Sign up for my weekly Insider newsletter for mindset tools, nervous system support, and encouragement straight to your inbox: https://thedivineselfbyjosieanderson.kit.com/insider
• FREE Reframe Your Mindset Masterclass - Tuesday, October 20th @ 10am - https://josieanderson.co/mindset/

With love and gratitude,

Josie Anderson