IT'S CHRISTMAS, and this year, we're talking about one of the GAYEST and MOST ROMANTIC episodes of Adventures in Odyssey: THE POPSICLE KID. Seriously, if the gang at Focus on the Family were TRYING to write a queer Hallmark story, this would be it. EEK!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM PERCY AND PARSNIP (WITH POOP!)

What is Katrina gurgling in that one scene and why? Is Jack going to dump Joanne for a homosexual antique store manager? Will Whittaker privilege never end? Lord, there are SOOOOO many questions for us to discuss, and that's why we have a nearly two-hour poddy eppy about FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELLS TOLL, PART 2.

Odyssey has a new unfettered trollop ... and she has her sights set on one John Avery Whittaker (ever heard of him?). Prepare to get nasty, bitches, because Margaret Faye is bursting onto the scene with expansive cleavage and pliant views on scriptural authority. It's time for FOR WHOM THE WEDDING BELLS TOLL, PART 1, the opening chapter Percy and Parsnip's favorite triumvirate of Adventures in Odyssey episodes (WE KNOW THEY'RE TOXIC AS HECK OK).

Is Jason Whittaker circumcised? That's what we discuss in this episode. And it's relevant, technically, because that was a big decision Whit had to make, and another big decision he has to make is whether to leave Odyssey again! See? Apropos! (Nice one, Percy)

*shhh... use your quiet voices and walking feet because percy, parsnip, and pigeon are meditating, and we don't want to disturb them. this week's episode is about the adventures in odyssey episode solitary refinement, in which eugene goes to a monastery and uses his dreams to force katrina to admit she was wrong. or maybe katrina is a dreamwalker. it's honestly hard to tell from the episode. now, take a deep breath in, and focus all your attention on your pinkie toes...*

Whit is finally returning to Odyssey, but the question on everybody’s mind is: Will he resume his sexual relationship with Tom, or will he go back to his OG lover, Jack? And the second question we’re ALL asking: What kind of PJs does Whit wear? Also, what kind of elderly adaptive bathing equipment exists for senior shower sex? We’ve got the answers to all that and more in this week’s episode of 2 Whits 1 Cup, as we discuss HOME SWEET HOME, Adventures in Odyssey’s surreal homecoming goon session for John Avery Whittaker.

We didn’t go three weeks between episodes, YOU’RE the crazy one. Anyway, James Dobson is dead. So we’re discussing The Right Choice, Part 2, as Katrina goes Tonya Harding on the Nancy Kerrigan of Eugene's heart. As such, we break down (old) Survivor and (current) Bachelor in Paradise. Don’t forget to message @2whits1cup on Instagram if you want to buy Percy’s sweaty tennis socks. This week’s discussion question: How slutty do you think Armitage Shanks' tennis outfit was? Also, for SEO purposes only: Adventures in Odyssey, Focus on the Family, feet.