Do you freeze up with "I don't know" every time you are faced with a big decision?

Do you secretly believe that if you don't show up perfect, nobody will care?

Are you carrying guilt for things that were never yours to carry in the first place?

This week I did something I've never done on this podcast: I showed up with no script. No guest interview, no notes written out beforehand, nothing planned. Just me, speaking from within, letting you see what perfectionism has actually been doing to me behind the scenes these past couple of weeks.

I talk about where my perfectionism was born; good grades, teacher's pet, employee of the month and how that same pattern still shows up today every time I have to make a decision in my business or my life. I open up about how perfectionism doesn't ask for excellence, it asks for paralysis, and how "I don't know" became my default answer to almost everything. This is a mindfulness and subconscious thought patterns conversation at its core: the beliefs we absorbed as kids about being loved for performing well don't just disappear when we grow up, they quietly run our nervous system and our decision-making unless we bring them into awareness.

I also share something much heavier from this weekend: the loss of one of my daughter's schoolmates, and the guilt and shame I watched get placed on that child's parents in the aftermath. It cracked something open in me about the guilt we as moms carry for things that were genuinely never within our control. If you've ever beaten yourself up over something you couldn't have possibly prevented, this part is for you.

This episode is for the ambitious mom who is so used to holding it together perfectly that she's forgotten what it feels like to just be present with herself. My hope is that by the end, you feel a little more permission to set the boundary with your own perfectionism, regulate the anxiety that comes with "getting it right," and come back home to yourself; imperfect, real, and still worthy of showing up.

Related listening: check out the episode on nervous system awareness and subconscious thought patterns for more on how these old patterns get wired in EPISODE 6

Journal Prompts:

• Where in my life am I letting perfectionism sabotage my progress?
• What guilt am I carrying today that was never mine to carry?

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With love and gratitude,

Josie Anderson