Your First Thought Isn't Your Only Thought

“I feel like she doesn't respect me.”

“I feel like I'm never going to get ahead.”

“I feel like they intentionally left me out.”

We say things like this all the time—but none of those statements actually describes a feeling.

They're thoughts.

And they're not automatically facts, either.

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del begins a three-part conversation about Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice by exploring how quickly the things we're thinking can become “facts” in our own minds.

Using a personal experience of discovering that her siblings had gotten together without her, Coach Del separates what she knew from what she thought:

What she knew: Her siblings got together, and she wasn't invited.

What she thought: They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there.

Could that thought have been true?

Absolutely.

But at that moment, it wasn't something she actually knew.

And recognizing that difference creates another possibility:

You can change your thoughts.

Not by forcing yourself to think positively.

Not by ignoring your intuition.

Not by excusing someone's behavior.

But by asking:

What's a different thought that I could have?

Sometimes the different thought is simply:

I don't know yet.

In this episode, Coach Del explores how to recognize the difference between a thought and a fact, how thoughts can influence our emotional experience, and why a different thought doesn't necessarily have to be a “better” or more positive thought.

Three questions to practice:

What am I thinking?

Do I know that to be true?

What's a different thought that I could have?

This is Part 1 of a three-part series:

Thoughts → Feelings → Choice

Next episode: FEELINGS—and why the thought may or may not be true, but the feeling is still real.

If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment.

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

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💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith