Most Dads have had that moment where they’ve reacted to their kids, walked away and thought, “I didn’t handle that well.” The hard part is finding a way to interrupt that reaction while it’s actually happening.

The Resilient Reframe is a simple tool designed to create some space between what’s happening around you and how you respond, helping you step out of the emotion of the moment and make a more considered choice.

Teaching us the tool is Rob Marston, a mental fitness advocate, Certified Resilience Coach, Mental Health First Aid Instructor and Resilience First Aid Instructor who works with individuals, workplaces and communities to build greater resilience and mental fitness. He’s also deeply involved in men’s mental health, including founding the Inner West chapter of When No One Is Watching.

In this episode, Rob shares:

• Why taking five before reacting can completely change what happens next.
• How to recognise the situations and triggers that bring out a version of yourself you don’t want your kids to see.
• How to use the Resilient Reframe to step out of the emotion of the moment and choose a response that better reflects the dad you want to be.
• Why perspective can help you decide what actually matters and which battles aren’t worth fighting.
• How practising the Resilient Reframe can help you become a more stable, present parent when things get chaotic.

KEY QUOTES

“This is the first time I’ve been a parent. Like, I’ve been a kid before, but I’ve never been a parent before, and I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.”

“You need to know you’re not doing well in order to be able to access doing better.”

“I think it’s really about trying to give people a bit of a distance between stimulus and response.”

MORE ABOUT ROB

• Connect with Rob on LinkedIn

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• Find out more at https://linktr.ee/dadtoolbox

SUPPORTING RESEARCH

Download a compilation of the papers and books used to research this topic.

Podcast produced by The Podcast Butler

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