Ever looked at your life and thought, “Wow, I’m really out here making every bad decision possible”? Welcome, to The Art of Blow, the hilariously self-aware guide to self-sabotage, procrastination, and the fine art of ruining your own life—with style.

Packed with razor-sharp wit and brutally honest humor, this book is for the overthinkers, the procrastinators, the hot messes, and anyone who has ever:

• Bought a planner, used it for two days, then lost it forever
• Stayed up all night worrying about things that never actually happened
• Started a “life-changing” routine, only to abandon it by day three
• Googled “why am I like this?” more times than they’d care to admit.

From destroying your sleep schedule and wrecking your skincare routine, to ensuring you never meet a deadline on time, The Art of Blow is a survival guide for today’s chaotic souls. It doesn’t promise to fix you—instead, it validates your questionable choices, makes you laugh at your own mess, and maybe (just maybe) helps you break the cycle of self-sabotage.

Inside, you’ll learn:

• How to destroy your glow in 10 easy steps (spoiler: hydration is a scam)
• Why procrastination is a highly refined skill (and how to master it)
• How to ruin your productivity and feel bad about it later
• Why your future self hates you (and why they have every right to)

Witty, relatable, and uncomfortably accurate, this book is the ultimate guide to embracing the chaos of modern life. If you’ve ever felt like you’re permanently under construction, this book will remind you that you’re not alone—and that sometimes, the best way to deal with disaster is to laugh at it.

So, grab your iced coffee, ignore your to-do list, and settle in. It’s time to master the art of blowing it.

Perfect for: Anyone who has ever been a walking disaster, fans of self-deprecating humor and satirical self-help, and probably that one friend who keeps saying, “I’ll get my life together…eventually." So, prepare for true chaos, and enjoy the ride!