Tired of the same old picture-perfect holiday stories where everyone smiles, the turkey’s golden brown, and nobody brings up politics at dinner? Then welcome to The 12 Days of Dysfunction — a brutally honest and laugh-out-loud survival guide for navigating the holidays with your sanity barely intact.

Author Ricky Gutierrez pulls back the glittery curtain on the chaos of Christmas and delivers a hilarious, no-holds-barred look at what really goes on during "the most wonderful time of the year." This isn’t a warm cocoa by the fire kind of book. It’s more like boxed wine in a solo cup while hiding from your in-laws in the garage.

This is the anti-guide for the imperfect holidays we actually live through — full of snark, eye-rolls, passive-aggressive potlucks, gift disasters, and just enough heart to keep you coming back each year.

Inside You’ll Find:

Day 1: The Advent of Anxiety - Why your heart rate spikes the moment someone says "Secret Santa."

Day 2: The Gift of Overdraft - A financial deep dive into how you ended up maxing out a credit card for scented candles and novelty mugs.

Day 3: String Light Sadness - An emotional saga of untangling 200 feet of lights that mysteriously don’t work when you plug them in.

Day 4: In-Law Invasion Protocol - Survival tactics for navigating political arguments, unsolicited parenting advice, and relatives who show up three days early.

Days 5 to 12: Cover everything from cookie meltdowns, Elf-on-the-Shelf guilt, glitter-related injuries, and the annual family argument that ends in someone storming out with the stuffing dish.

Who This Book Is For:

Parents who haven’t sat down since December 1st

Millennials who still get stuck at the kids’ table

Adults who know better than to argue with Uncle Mike

Anyone who’s screamed into a throw pillow between gift wrapping and gravy duty