Relationsick
Why Putting Yourself Last is Destroying Your Health—and How to Heal
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The body wants to heal itself. By treating your relational trauma and healing power imbalances in your relationships, you can create the conditions it needs to begin.
Most people know that controlling relationships can lead to mental health issues. But few people understand that our bodies translate relational trauma into physical, chronic, and even terminal illnesses— autoimmune disorders, cancer, chronic pain, and more.
Building on the Internal Family Systems and Relational Life Therapy models, Relationsick is a trauma-informed recovery plan that will help you rebalance relationships where you give too much and receive too little or where someone is abusing their power- at your body's expense.
Relationsick will help you break free from the fawning behaviors that keep you stuck in toxic relational dynamics. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience, Drs. Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Rediger place recovery firmly in your hands through grounded, ethical, trauma-informed, evidence-based medical advice.
Regulate your nervous system, protect your heart with good boundaries, and heal your body by learning to:
- Spot the red flags of narcissism- as well as the green flags of healthy, responsible, health-inducing relationships
- Understand fawning, over-functioning, and enabling behaviors in a trauma-informed way—so you can take charge of your health
- Deprogram unhealthy conditioning and set patterns that will help your nervous system begin the process of deeper healing
- Get to know the parts of you that cause you to give too much and keep you stuck in power imbalances that can make you sick
- Communicate clear and assertive boundaries, navigate existing relationships with narcissists, and decide if a no-contact approach is right for you
- Show up for yourself and your other relationships, so you can nurture safe, transparent, and loving connections in your life
With practical self-help tools including quizzes for self-assessment, this radical new approach to healing from physical illness and unhealthy relationships makes it clear that your body has the power to improve or even reverse trauma-inflicted illness. All you have to do is help it do so.
© 2026 by Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Rediger. ℗ 2026 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.
批評家のレビュー
“In Relationsick, Drs. Lissa Rankin and Jeffrey Rediger name a gnawing truth many of us would prefer to look away from, calling out how many of us are living inside immature oppressive relationships and systems that our bodies experience as unsafe, even when our brains call it love . . . The wisdom they share encourages us and gives us tools to build relationships rooted in consent, dignity, and embodied truth. This book is a call to end the quiet violence of self-betrayal and to create real connection that doesn’t require it—as medicine for the body, mind, and soul.”
—Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP, New York Times bestselling author of My Grandmother's Hands and Monsters in Love
“This is a must-read book about relationships that can go awry, as many unfortunately do. These red flags are a guide to getting out of—or healing—toxic relationships before they make you sick.”
—John Gottman, cofounder of The Gottman Institute and New York Times bestselling coauthor of Fight Right
“Can your intimate relationship make you physically sick? In this book, two accomplished physicians and writers say it’s complicated. It may not be your relationship per se, but the parts of you that overly caretake and don’t let you take care of yourself. They back this up with compelling research, theoretical frameworks, and case examples, and offer a variety of practical options for reclaiming yourself and, in the process, your health.”
—Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems and author of No Bad Parts