Once upon a time, in an enchanted land far, far, away, there were a number of kingdoms. Parking-Lot was one of them, along with the Ogre Kingdom. In a small hamlet known as Millers Bend, it had been previously taken over by a band of bandits.

Olaf the Oaf, of Olaf’s Ye Ole Heating and Plumbing Service, when visiting, took pity on the townsfolk, and with their help disguised himself as an ogre and scared the bandits out of town. After a few years later he learned the gang was about to return. He reasoned that what this town needed was a permanent solution, so he set out to recruit genuine ogres to help him.

The next stop for the royal caravan was the Kingdom of Mutton-Ham, where Princess Tundra renewed her acquaintance with Prince Bo, who took it upon himself to propose. When the news of it spread, it caused a huge rift between Tundra and Olaf, who ended up no longer speaking to each other. It was about time for the Annual Homecoming Celebration, when a witch, would be thrown into a huge bonfire; a real crowd pleaser. Olaf went to pay a visit to Lord Chamberlain to thank him for his assistance. When the door opened, Serina, the lord’s young wife, greeted him. The woman was of average height, slender, and petite with an ivory-white complexion highlighting her ruby red lips; her haunting ebony eyes and long, straight black hair down to her waist made her eerily stunning. After that day, the oaf inadvertently became infatuated with Serina. He promised her he would do his best to convince King Parking to end the practice of sacrificing witches in his kingdom.

When Serina was the witch captured by the Homecoming Committee, the oaf became desperate to save her from the flames in the event the king would not end the practice, out of fear of the queen and his citizens’ reaction. Thus, you have in this tale the account of Ogres, Witches, Bandits, and Idiots. Listen to see how everything ends.