“The anti-guru book we all need right now, a no-bs reminder that the power was never in the awakening but in the radical act of claiming every broken, beautiful, shameful part of yourself and saying I got me.”
—Jennifer Pastiloff, bestselling author of On Being Human + Proof of Life

It’s about time somebody said it: the self-help industry can be exhausting. Somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that the only way to reach our higher self is by meditating every day, curating the perfect, kick-ass morning routine, and filling journal after journal with our manifestations. And while that works for some people, many are left feeling more broken.

Wellness advocate and shame eradicator Michelle Garside has seen the often-toxic machinery of the wellness industry up close—she spent over a decade as a creative force behind some of the biggest names in personal development, and has been the customer, the retreat goer and the journal filler. In (NOT) Awakened, Michelle offers a reckoning: rather than chasing a “higher self” we should be owning the parts of ourselves the industry keeps telling us to transcend. The mess. The rage. The appetites. The shame.

Weaved with Michelle’s laugh-out-loud, heartbreaking, and candid personal stories, (NOT) Awakened will show you that if you think you’ve experienced countless failures in attempt to reach a spiritual awakening, you’re not alone. The path forward isn’t a better morning routine. It’s giving up on the fantasy that there’s a fixed version of you waiting somewhere and meeting the one you already are.