If you are reading this, it is likely that you are wrapped up in a high conflict court or custody case, probably with a self-centered, narcissistic, or psychopathic person. Most people who enter into a toxic relationship don’t really know what the definition of a healthy relationship is. They know that they don’t want to get into another toxic relationship that will end in divorce. But what exactly is a healthy relationship?

In 20 minutes, we will cover what a healthy relationship looks like. It looks a lot different from the toxicity that you may be used to living under, whether it was with your ex or a narcissistic, or ill-attuned parent. Healthy relationships with other people don’t hurt. These relationships don’t cause us to feel emotional pain because someone else intentionally tromped on our feelings over and over again. They don’t make us feel so helpless and hopeless that we suffer from complex PTSD in the long term.

In this Divorce Court series, our other books will help you learn how to handle the personalities that you will come across, how to become more likeable to the other people in the courtroom, how to soothe the stress you are under, what feelings and emotions you experience when going through the court process, how to cope with losses, and learn the strategies that the narcissist is going to use against you that you must be ready for. Read or listen to this book, then read or listen to the other books in the series for a full spectrum strategy in dealing with the narcissist in and out of court.

This audiobook refers to the narcissist as a "he", but the narcissist in the relationship and divorce proceedings can also be a "she". The pronouns are interchangeable for the purposes of this audiobook.

A healthy person doesn’t hit

I don’t want to sound like Captain Obvious here. But some people need to be reminded that a healthy individual doesn’t hit. They don’t need to hit. They solve problems with communication and rationale, and reason. They solve problems by sitting down with the other person to negotiate. They make sure that negotiations are win-win for both parties. They schedule time to discuss concerns. They curb the topic for another time if one or both parties has had enough.

This is not to say that healthy people don’t get angry or frustrated or fearful, or make bad decisions. On the contrary, anger and fear are very primitive emotions that every human feels on some level (albeit psychopaths have a more fleeting emotion than one that sticks around for any length of time). But a person who resorts to hitting another person has a lack of disregard for the safety and security of the other person. Safety and security is a basic human need, as is a sense of understanding, belonging, and acceptance. If a person hits you, pushes you, shoves you, manhandles you, chokes you, punches you, kicks you or slaps you - show them to the door.