Alone … in the dimly lit cell … I’m pacing the perimeter, trying to outrun my own dark thoughts.I’m only 13 years old. Is this my life and the first step toward dying in a gutter like Dad says I will? Will I be in and out of prison? I walk faster and faster….breaking into a run and then running until I’m exhausted. I unfold the blanket in my cell, spread it on the hard floor, and drop off to sleep.

Crushed by a violent, alcoholic father, and growing up in a world of street gangs, organized crime, and anti-Semitism. Phillip Cohen somehow navigates dangerous neighborhoods from Chicago to Atlanta and Miami. In his late teens and early twenties, his life has been thrust into a desperate existence, wandering homeless through hippie communes, pursuing hard drugs and strange religions, all in his search for healing and love.

Then, just as hope dawns, it fades and dies as Phillip discovers he’s trapped in the suffocating embrace of a heavy-handed ultraconservative Anabaptist church. Twenty-six years pass, and he escapes with his wife and 9 children. Desperately, he runs to mainstream Christianity but doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere.

Phillip’s memoir is an unforgettable exploration of faith, identity, and the profound pursuit of purpose—a journey guided by the light of Jesus shining through it all. A journey that will leave you questioning your own beliefs and longing for the transformative power of love.