Connection Crash
How Co-Regulation Rebuilds the Relationship Skills Technology Took from Us (and Our Kids)
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Connection Crash
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Jake Ernst
The practical companion to The Anxious Generation
Grounded in cutting-edge interpersonal neurobiology and over a decade of work in family mental health, Jake Ernst reveals a powerful truth: we are wired to regulate our emotions, stress and sense of safety through one another—not just in childhood, but throughout our entire lives.
Yet in a world increasingly mediated by smartphones, social feeds and AI companions, real co-regulation is becoming scarce. These technologies simulate connection while leaving us lonelier, more distracted and more emotionally adrift. Jake Ernst shows how digital environments reshape our inner worlds, weaken our “social muscles” and leave every generation—kids, teens and adults—struggling to feel regulated. In Connection Crash you’ll learn:
- How the “connection crash” unfolds, even when we’re trying to do all the right things.
- What “digital faux-regulation” is and how screens can’t replace human nervous system support.
- How burnout is fundamentally relational, rooted in depleted co-regulation.
- How dopamine-driven digital rewards mislead us, pulling us away from what keeps us steady.
- Practical strategies for managing our digital lives with tips, scripts and ways for you and your family to choose togetherness over technology.