This week’s episode comes straight from the DMs: “Can you please make a video about your partner sleeping soundly while you are crying next to him?” It’s a message Margarita gets often, and one she lived herself in her twenties. The internet’s answer is usually just “leave him,” but Margarita argues that skips the most important part: understanding what is actually happening. In this episode, she breaks down the pursue-withdraw dynamic, why men and women experience conflict so differently, and how anxious and avoidant partners are both trying to feel safe in opposite ways. She gets candid about emotional sovereignty, rumination, and handing your emotional weather to someone else. She also explains how to tell a healthy break from stonewalling, emotional overwhelm from emotional punishment, and the one simple test that shows whether it really is time to leave him.

In this episode:

1. Three separate reasons this could be happening and they are all different

2. The pursue withdraw dynamic and why it is so painful

3. Anxious versus avoidant attachment and why these two always find each other

4. Sleep does not prove emotional indifference

5. Why women ruminate and men shut down during conflict

6. Emotional invalidation versus nervous system overload

7. Stonewalling versus taking a healthy break

8. Why women carry the emotional labour of the whole relationship

9. Contempt and emotional punishment disguised as withdrawal

10. What the next day actually tells you about everything

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Mentioned in this episode:

Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko

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