King Scott is back from paternity leave with a beautiful baby girl, zero sleep and the kind of diaper story every new parent eventually earns. The crew gets the full delivery-room recap, meets the world of high-tech baby gear and learns that fatherhood can go from heartwarming to “poop volcano” remarkably fast.

Then things get weird. Moon encounters a mysterious solo mini golfer in Alabama who appears extremely high, carries an enormous ice cream cone around the course and repeatedly sets it directly on the ground before continuing to eat it. Eventually, an ostrich gets involved. The crew also debates perfect no-skip albums, dives into celebrity chaos and once again asks the question America has been asking for generations: What the hell is going on in Florida?

Back in the relationship department, we celebrate Earth, Wind & Fire Day by learning about “guided Joeing” — audio instructions for some extremely personal alone time. Lern sees potential. Moon insists we’ve just reinvented phone sex and given it a wellness subscription. Naturally, everyone immediately begins considering whether their radio voices could provide lucrative second careers.

The conversation somehow becomes slightly more respectable with “food divorce,” where couples stop planning meals together and simply eat whatever they want, whenever they want. That leads to debates over family dinners, personal space, eating speeds and whether sharing a meal really matters in a relationship.

And finally, Rafe gives us a glimpse into bachelor life: eating smoked wings alone while watching football on a laptop, discovering sauce all over his face and contemplating furniture specifically designed to make eating in bed easier.

New babies, wedding afterparties, dirt-seasoned ice cream, perfect albums, Florida crimes, guided alone time and relationship food fights — three episodes of The Rizzuto Show proving once again that we can start with the miracle of childbirth and somehow end with Rafe shopping for a snack bed.

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