Rehma grew up being told her dark skin tone made her less — less worthy of color, of fashion, of choosing how she showed up in the world.

In this episode she sits with Kirti and traces the long road from that to self-contentment: the comparisons, the silence she learned, and the makeover that turned out to be about far more than clothes.

This is a conversation about skin tone bias, confidence, modesty and style, and what it takes to finally look in the mirror and mean it when you say you look good. Part one of two.

Would you like to find out more on how to pause the pressure of what's expected of you and find a fresh way to speak your mind?

Connect with us : https://link.kirtana168.com/podcast

About Rehma Mirza

Rehma Mirza is a Sustainable Style Consultant and the Founder of The Self-Investment System™, a purpose-led framework that integrates self-awareness, confidence, styling awareness, and mental wellbeing. She is recognised as a pioneer in the GCC for linking mental wellbeing with styling awareness through structured workshops and educational programmes for both youth and adults.She is also a contributor to ISO 45003 (Psychological Health & Safety at Work) recognition within a government organisation in Dubai. Her work focuses on empowering individuals to build self-trust, emotional intelligence, and intentional self-presentation through culturally respectful, accessible tools that support long-term wellbeing, confidence, and future readiness.

www.stylebyrehma.com, stylebyrehma (Instagram), Rehma Mirza (Linkedin)

Time

01:16 — How Rehma got here, and why

01:21 — Growing up the "different" one: gender bias in an orthodox home

02:27 — When color comparison entered the family

04:00 — Learning that pleasing others was the only path

04:53 — "You don't fit that role because of your color"

06:42 — Falling into depression before she had a word for it

09:54 — Labelled difficult, sensitive, too much

10:17 — Kirti's side: comparison cuts from the other direction too

12:09 — The marriage market and the cost of comparison

14:58 — Married at 21, still dressed by everyone but herself

15:52 — "Are you really happy?" — the question her husband kept asking

17:23 — Mirrors, breaking points and self-harm

22:25 — Pregnancy, melanin and the cruelty of people close to her

24:22 — Normalizing the negativity until it stops sounding like harm

26:40 — The pivot: Dubai, depression, and a gift she didn't want

27:45 — Two hours of weeping in a stylist's chair

28:40 — "We need to get your head fixed first"

29:34 — The eye-opener: every color she'd worn was wrong

31:32 — Turning her own makeover into a way to help other women

33:57 — Inner alignment and outer presence

34:53 — Happiness vs. self-contentment: the word that changed things

36:39 — Kirti's own story: yoga, weight, perimenopause and lost confidence

38:57 — Styling for a body that keeps changing

39:24 — The question that carries into part two

Kirti breaks down the pressure to look and act a certain way, sharing stories about shame, family, and everyday criticism.

Keywords

1. How does cultural pressure affect women's confidence?

2. Speaking up when feeling judged for appearance

3. Emotional impact of family comments about weight

4. Kirti Drop Your Noise styling and well-being episode

5. Handling criticism about appearance at work

6. Tips for dressing across different cultures

7. Women's voices in multicultural workplaces

8. Indian family expectations for women

9. Why do clothes affect self-esteem?

10. Stories about hiding due to shame

11. Real talk about skin color and beauty standards

12. Finding identity while living abroad

13. Multicultural challenges for professional women

14. How do casual comments affect self-worth?

15. Effects of cultural beauty pressure on speaking up

Tags
communication
women at work
multicultural
family pressure
self-esteem
speaking up
appearance
shame
styling
Kirti

Timestamped chapters

• 00:00 Why talk about styling and well-being?

• 00:45 Clearing out old photos in Curacao

• 01:19 First memories of college friendship

• 02:04 When appearance shaped opportunity

• 02:45 Family criticism and pressure

• 03:35 Childhood shame and secret eating

• 04:11 Aunties, skin color, and judgment

• 05:05 Male allies and encouraging confidence

• 05:51 Switching from suits to yoga clothes

• 07:01 Second-guessing sharing discomfort

• 07:10 The lasting influence of outside comments

• 08:23 Why styling still matters

• 09:36 Finding style in different countries

• 10:17 Clothing, confidence, and well-being

• 11:21 Closing thoughts

How much of your voice are you leaving out online? Annie shares stories of working with women on visibility, the messy reality of putting yourself out there, and the things we’re worried about but rarely say out loud. Kirti and Annie get honest: comparison, confidence, what actually works on LinkedIn (hint: it’s not just posting daily), and how being a little bit more yourself might be the most valuable thing you can do—in business and beyond.

Get our latest releases and behind the scene thoughts: https://kirtana168.substack.com

About Annie:

Annie Meikle is a communications strategist with 17 years of experience helping brandsand senior leaders articulate their narrative with clarity and confidence. She began hercareer at the start of the region’s social media era, where she helped establish theSocial@Ogilvy practice at Memac Ogilvy. As Head of Content at OgilvyOne, she led workfor global brands including Sprite, IBM, SAP, Volkswagen, Kotex and Sony Mobile, shapingcontent designed for real audience engagement in the Middle East.In 2016, she co-founded The Social Shop by Aurora, a Dubai-based social media agencyfocused on corporate and consumer communications in sectors such as technology,aviation, retail, and health. Over time, the agency developed a niche in delivering high-impact social strategies to B2B companies.In 2023, Annie launched Meikle Communications to focus on strategic thought leadershipfor corporates and senior executives — particularly on LinkedIn — alongside employeeadvocacy and social media enablement programs. Her work blends narrativedevelopment, executive positioning, and practical execution frameworks that help leaderscommunicate with influence and purpose.