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In a seedy backstreet, in a rotting theatre, the sinister Dr Caligari runs a cabaret with his demonic assistants, Snuff and Anthrax. A riot of a listen, this surreal and macabre comedy follows the smooth-talking Dr Caligari as he encourages unwilling guests to tell their story in his London nightclub. Written by Alan Gilbey, strange encounters and dark mysteries are recounted by guest acts on London’s most bizarre stage.

February 2012. Somewhere in the North Atlantic. In an increasingly uncertain defence environment, a deadly new arms race has begun. In an attempt to secure her boundaries, Britain has deployed the very latest sub-sea military technology. Beneath and beyond the front line, these are the adventures of the HMS Goliath. A 55,000-tonne M-Class nuclear stealth submarine, prowling 5,000 metres below the surface, manned by idiots.

Sulky Goth Eloise hates her life, Monday mornings and her dreary job as a Co-op sales assistant. She’s always felt like an outsider, but as her 21st birthday approaches, she starts to wonder if she’s going mad. She can’t sleep, the sun hurts her skin, she’s plagued by nightmares and she has an insatiable craving for blood – and worst of all, she seems to be allergic to garlic bread. Then her Transylvanian Aunt Lucretia reveals that she’s a vampire, and suddenly it all makes sense. She’s happier than she’s ever been: but there are still a few hurdles to overcome.