welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week nikki turned 22, and instead of celebrating, she's processing something she's struggled with her entire life: why birthdays feel like grief, what it means to let things change.

nikki talks about grieving her younger self and how this year she is trying to honour the version of herself that is here.

also on this episode, she also explores a word she can't stop thinking about: ephemeral. it means fleeting, temporary, something that exists for a time and then passes or changes. and here's what she's learning: just because something ended doesn't mean it failed.

along the way, she talks about loss aversion (a psychological concept that losing something feels much more significant than gaining something new) , the "train station theory and she gets vulnerable about why we're so obsessed with permanence in relationships.

nikki shares a powerful grounding technique her therapist taught her: drop anchor. when her brain races ahead to future catastrophes, she drops anchor back into the present.

if you've ever felt scared of change or wondered how to be present when your brain is always bracing for loss... this one's for you.

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