This episode is the personal testimony of Micah, a 42-year-old former Jehovah's Witness, detailing his life within the organization, his subsequent departure, and his journey toward recovery and self-redefinition. Born into the religion to parents with significant personal trauma, Micah's childhood was defined by a "constant white knuckle paralytic terror" of Armageddon. His life was marked by a series of compounding traumas, including the death of his father at age 13, a profound lack of emotional support from his family and congregation, and severe mental health struggles leading to multiple suicide attempts.

Micah's narrative illustrates a cyclical pattern of rejection, self-destructive behavior, and attempts to conform to the group's expectations, resulting in two instances of being disfellowshipped. He describes feeling like a "non-entity," with his authentic self—expressed through writing, art, and comedy—consistently suppressed. The breaking point came during the COVID-19 pandemic, which, coupled with escalating substance abuse and a final confrontation with an elder, led to his arrest, incarceration, and subsequent homelessness.

His recovery began in a halfway house where he identified the recovery program, Alcoholics Anonymous, as another high-control group with cult-like tactics. This realization prompted a period of intense deconstruction, where he researched cult dynamics and logical fallacies, leading to the definitive conclusion that he was raised in a cult. By reclaiming his identity through his lifelong passion for writing, Micah published a series of books, starting with his memoir Mentally Diseased. This creative process was the catalyst for rebuilding his life, paying off debt, establishing a new community, and finding a sense of empowerment. His story is a powerful account of the damaging effects of high-control groups and the potential for profound personal transformation through authentic self-expression.

Find Micah's books and more at his website https://www.micahallenlosh.com/

Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned

Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information.

Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com

Leave us a review on iTunes

Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here.

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.

This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.

Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here

An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

I was very fortunate to be able to travel and record an episode of Jubilee along with other ExJWs and Ex-Scientologists as we discussed our lives and the groups we came from. Their YouTube channel was kind enough to give us a platform on which to share. I took not just my own experiences, but all of the stories I've heard through the Shunned Podcast here, and everyone that I've been fortunate to work with in my cult recovery coaching practice. There's so much to talk about, so much to share, so much that we can learn from one another. I'm grateful for the opportunity and encouraging you to go participate by watching and liking and commenting on their channel for this episode.

You can find the episode of Jubilee here: https://youtu.be/592sOIePWpc?si=kyAEteMN4kd4itm2

Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Struggling with perfectionism, building a social network, codependency, or feeling like you're not enough? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a Cult Recovery Coach. I work with many ex-JWs, along with ex-other groups, and your average person that has never been in a cult that wants better things in their life.

Find out more here: https://storyworkscoaching.com

I also have an ExJW specific site here: https://exjwhelp.com

Please consider supporting the show's Patreon if you appreciate the time that goes into producing these stories, and get yourself some exclusive bonuses, at: https://www.patreon.com/shunned

Show notes and information on how to be a guest or find other resources for the podcast can be found here: https://shunnedpodcast.com/episodes/

Read my free online book, based on my original podcast This JW Life (still available on podcast apps), called Becoming Jehovah (in English and Spanish) at: https://becomingjehovah.com/

An ExJW podcast and an ExJW YouTube channel #exjw #jehovahswitnesses #cult

In this episode, Ezzi details the intense familial and organizational pressure that led to her baptism at age 15, despite her not feeling ready or understanding the doctrine. A significant portion of the conversation addresses the abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics she endured, including physical abuse from her mother and the coercive environment within the organization that affected both her mother and herself. We closely examine the traumatic process of being disfellowshipped (shunned) and the detrimental effects this had on Ezzi's relationships and mental health, highlighting the narcissistic and controlling nature often present in JW culture and relationships. Ultimately, Ezzi discusses her deconstruction journey and the increased freedom, happiness, and healthy relationships she has found after leaving the faith.

Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned

Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information.

Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com

Leave us a review on iTunes

Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here.

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

The songs chosen by Ezzi to represent her journey are Pushing Daisies by Belmont, Fighting Myself by Linkin Park, and Heroes Get Remembered by Four Year Strong.

You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.

This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment.

Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here

An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel