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in this episode, i unpack why slowing down feels so uncomfortable for driven people and why stillness often triggers fear, guilt and urgency rather than relief. we explore how high performers unconsciously equate stress with safety, why the nervous system learns to rely on adrenaline and pressure and how productivity becomes a coping strategy rather than a choice. drawing from neuroscience, eastern philosophy, stoicism and my own lived experience of grief, burnout and collapse, this episode reframes rest as regulation, stillness as power and calm as the foundation for clarity, creativity and sustainable success. enjoy 💙

what we explored this episode

00:00 welcome welcome!

01:46 what if you’re not scared of failure, but scared of stillness?

02:32 why high performers fear the quiet more than hard work

04:08 my 2024 stack of pressure, breakup and a cancer diagnosis

06:24 the moment i realised i was doing everything “right” from the wrong place

07:16 you can’t outthink or outwork what your body is holding

08:06 the pause that changed everything

09:19 why tears are not weakness

12:14 willpower won’t override survival mode

13:04 sympathetic dominance in plain english

16:04 clarity is not a thinking problem, it is a state problem

17:08 why your best ideas show up in the shower

17:56 a taoist, buddhist and stoicist walk into a bar

23:06 the dirty room analogy

24:51 djokovic, jobs, kobe, katy perry and seinfeld

27:14 the two questions that change everything for me

28:26 personal development 2.0

some takeaways

slowing down feels unsafe when stress equals safety

busyness often hides unprocessed grief, fear, and anger

you cannot think your way out of a dysregulated body

clarity follows regulation, not effort

stress narrows perception and kills creativity

achievement used for safety leads to collapse

stillness reveals what distraction hides

emotion stored in the body drains energy

calm restores insight, choice, and direction

rest is not quitting, it is upgrading

true power comes from safety, not urgency

success without peace is not success

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lots of love,

david 💙