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In this episode, I break down Mask #7 in the 8 Masks men wear — The Know It All.

This is the pattern where intelligence stops being a tool and becomes armour.

It often looks like clarity, authority, and strong reasoning on the surface — but underneath it can function as protection against uncertainty, emotional exposure, and shame.

I explore how this mask shows up in everyday interactions, relationships, and conflict — including subtle conversational dominance, persuasion under the surface, and the inability to leave space for another person’s reality to stand.

I also explain why this mask is so easy to miss — especially for thoughtful, high-functioning men — and why insight alone is not enough to remove it.

In This Episode

• The Know It All mask and how it operates in real conversations
• “Owning the air” — when one person takes all the psychological space
• When opinion quietly becomes fact
• Why disagreement gets treated as “you just don’t understand yet”
• Persuasion as a stabilising strategy
• Why emotion is felt but not trusted
• The relational cost to partners and children
• The shame underneath certainty
• When intelligence becomes armour instead of a tool

Research References Mentioned

This episode references established psychological and brain-based research, including:

• Simon Baron-Cohen’s work on Systemising vs Empathising (E–S theory)
• Population brain pattern differences in dominant cognitive operating styles
• Normative Male Alexithymia (NMA) — meaning no words for feelings
• Brain-based and developmental work highlighted by Michael Gurian
• The combined effect of male cognitive bias + boys’ socialisation

These patterns help explain why many men default to logic and explanation under emotional pressure — and why purely talk-based approaches often fall short.

Why This Matters

Left unchecked, this mask doesn’t just make communication harder — it erodes intimacy.

It can lead to:

• partner shutdown and distance
• children having less space to form their identity
• conflict turning into intellectual debate instead of emotional repair
• chronic disconnection despite “reasonable” conversations

This pattern is common in men whose relationships are under strain — even when they are intelligent, successful, and self-aware.

Series:
This episode is part of The 8 Masks Men Wear — short reflections on the survival identities men adopt, and what it takes to move beyond them.

I’m hosting a live guided journey through the 8 Masks Men Wear, with twice-weekly online sessions focused on:

• exposing each mask pattern
• understanding the hidden cost
• doing the emotional and relational work required to dismantle them
• building grounded, integrated masculine presence

If you recognise yourself in this episode, don’t just note it — act on it.

👉 Join the waitlist for The 8 Masks Men Wear Live 8-Week Training
An 8-week journey to identify the mask running your life — and remove it so you can finally lead as the man you were meant to be.
Email: andy@andynathan.co.uk

Want to Drop the Masks?
The 8 Masks Men Wear begins in February 2026.
If you want to stop letting old survival strategies run your life and start leading from who you truly are, this is for you.

Connect with Andy
Instagram: @andyjnathan / @themanprogram
Website: andynathan.co.uk

Send us a text

This one is for the men who are productive. Driven. Capable.
They get things done.

But when things slow down - when there’s no next task, no clear win, no immediate goal - something feels off.

In this episode, Andy explores The High Achiever: the man who learned early that worth comes from movement, performance, and progress. The man who looks successful on the outside, but feels restless, disconnected, or absent on the inside.

This isn’t an episode about burnout.
It’s about what happens when achievement becomes identity — and presence quietly disappears.

You’ll hear how high achievement often functions as a form of emotional avoidance, why stillness can feel uncomfortable or even threatening, and how this pattern shows up most clearly in relationships — where men are physically present but emotionally elsewhere.

The episode closes with a simple but confronting distinction:
Achievement is something you do.
Presence is something you are.

You don’t need to and shouldn't stop striving.
But you might need to stop running.

In this episode:

• Why high-achieving men struggle with presence
• How achievement became a substitute for self-worth
• The hidden relational cost of constant movement
• Why presence can’t be multitasked
• A powerful reframe for ambition, intimacy, and meaning

Reflection

Who are you still trying to prove yourself to?

If this episode landed, don’t rush to change anything.
Just notice where achievement has become a shield - and where doing has replaced being.

Series:
This episode is part of The 8 Masks Men Wear — short reflections on the survival identities men adopt, and what it takes to move beyond them.

👉 Join the waitlist for The 8 Masks Men Wear Live 8-Week Training
An 8-week journey to identify the mask running your life — and remove it so you can finally lead as the man you were meant to be.
Email: andy@andynathan.co.uk

Want to Drop the Masks?
The 8 Masks Men Wear begins in February 2026.
If you want to stop letting old survival strategies run your life and start leading from who you truly are, this is for you.

Connect with Andy
Instagram: @andyjnathan / @themanprogram
Website: andynathan.co.uk

Send us a text

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still feel unappreciated, drained, or resentful… This episode is for you.

Many men pride themselves on being good men.

They’re considerate. Thoughtful. Emotionally aware.
They don’t like conflict. They avoid tension.
They try to be understanding, adaptable, and easy to be with.

On the surface, this looks like emotional maturity.

But underneath, something else often builds:
Frustration.
Resentment.
A quiet sense of being unseen, unchosen, and undesired.

In this episode, I explore what I call The Nice Guy Mask - a survival strategy many men learned early in life that slowly turns into a cage.

You’ll learn:

• Why “being nice” is often a strategy, not a personality
• How approval-seeking quietly erodes self-respect
• What covert contracts are and why they poison relationships
• Why people don’t fully trust men who never take a position
• How resentment builds when you abandon yourself
• The difference between kindness and self-erasure
• Why boundaries aren’t cruelty—they’re adulthood

This episode is not about becoming harsh, dominant, or emotionally closed.

It’s about telling the truth.
It’s about including yourself in the equation.
It’s about learning to risk disapproval so you can finally be real.

Because when you stop performing for approval, something surprising happens:
People relax.
Trust increases.
And your yes - and your no - start to mean something.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still feel invisible, drained, or quietly angry…

This episode is for you.

Series:
This episode is part of The 8 Masks Men Wear — short reflections on the survival identities men adopt, and what it takes to move beyond them.

👉 Join the waitlist for The 8 Masks Men Wear Live 8-Week Training
An 8-week journey to identify the mask running your life — and remove it so you can finally lead as the man you were meant to be.
Email: andy@andynathan.co.uk

Want to Drop the Masks?
The 8 Masks Men Wear begins in February 2026.
If you want to stop letting old survival strategies run your life and start leading from who you truly are, this is for you.

Connect with Andy
Instagram: @andyjnathan / @themanprogram
Website: andynathan.co.uk