What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows?

In this raw and deeply personal episode, I unpack what it means to love someone with traits of Cluster B personality disorders—specifically, narcissistic and borderline features—and why walking away doesn’t bring immediate peace. I share the story of how my relationship ended, the impossible ultimatum I was given, and the unraveling that came after.

We explore:

• Why you still miss them even though they hurt you
• The reality of trauma bonding and emotional addiction
• What it means to be with someone who can imitate love but not sustain it
• The devastation of being blamed for everything, including their own behavior
• The disorienting grief that follows when you're mourning the illusion, not the reality
• What healing actually looks like when you finally choose yourself

This episode is for anyone who left a relationship and still doesn’t understand why it hurts so much. For the person who can’t stop blaming themselves. For the survivor who is starting to realize: it wasn’t you. It was never you.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

We dive into the Trauma Bond: how it forms, why it's so hard to leave, and what recovery really looks like. This isn't just about red flags or textbook definitions. This is about the lived experience—the confusion, the craving for relief, the grief that shows up even when you finally leave.

I walk through the invisible hooks that keep survivors attached: intermittent reinforcement, emotional manipulation disguised as love, and the powerful conditioning that teaches us to find safety in what's familiar—even when it hurts. I also share pieces of my own story, including what it felt like to be silenced, blamed, and slowly erased in a relationship that mirrored old wounds I hadn’t yet healed.

You’ll hear about:

• The difference between love and emotional captivity
• How trauma bonds are wired into your nervous system
• Why you still miss them even after they hurt you
• What gaslighting does to your sense of self
• How to begin un-gaslighting yourself and rebuild your truth

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

What do you do when the person you love explodes—and it has nothing to do with you, but you’re the one absorbing the damage?

In today’s episode, I’m talking about a very specific and disorienting experience: the emotional outbursts that often come from people with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These episodes are not “just” arguments. They’re dysregulated storms—sudden, intense, and often terrifying—that leave you feeling blamed, spun, and emotionally shredded.

I break down what’s actually happening in these moments, why they feel so confusing, and how to begin separating yourself from the chaos. We’ll explore:

• What BPD-patterned emotional storms really are
• Why it feels like you’re being punished for something you didn’t do
• How to recognize these moments as trauma responses, not mutual conflict
• What helped me stop spiraling when I was stuck in these cycles
• The difference between compassion and self-sacrifice
• Why you’re not crazy for being overwhelmed, and why this isn’t your fault

This episode isn’t about diagnosing anyone. It’s about giving language to what survivors are living through—so you can stop blaming yourself, start validating your reality, and begin choosing peace over chaos.

If this resonates, I invite you to check out my full Substack series on Cluster B abuse patterns: https://jessicaknightcoaching.substack.com/

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner