Your Stupid Minds covers FOX's backdoor pilot for a show all about Marvel's 92nd favorite character. The problem being that it came in fourth in the ratings and was never picked up as a series. It's 1998's Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Starring David Hasselhoff, Lisa Rinna, Sandra Hess, and Ron Canada.

After HYDRA kills Clay Quartermain in a raid on a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, Nick Fury (Hasselhoff) is brought back on after being unceremoniously kicked out five years earlier for being too cool. He abandons the gold mine he's hiding out in for the last half decade and gets back to work.

Fury reunites with his former lover and future series love interest that never was Contessa Valentina 'Val' de Allegro Fontaine (Rinna), some nerd Alexander Pierce (Neil Roberts, and yes that Alexander Pierce from Winter Soldier, but British for some reason), and a psychic and get to work stopping HYDRA.

Andrea Von Strucker (Hess) has reignited her frozen father's dream of HYDRA world domination and Nazi-style terrorism, and is also Viper. She gets the drop on Fury, and drops some tree frog poison onto his lips via her lips. He has 48 hours to live, but Fury ignores tech genius Gabriel Jones's (Canada) advice of hanging out in the infirmary until he dies, and goes on a quest to save his own life instead by extracting Andrea's blood for an antidote.

HYDRA is also planning to shoot deadly virus missiles in the general direction of the World Trade Center (collar tug) so they have to stop that too. Screenwriter David S. Goyer borrows a story idea he'll have 14 years later in The Dark Knight Rises and Val tracks a series of dummy trucks in the hopes of finding the one with the real virus bomb.

Fury invades the HYDRA compound in New Jersey and is immediately captured, but not before stashing his robot doppelgänger somewhere in an unfilmed scene. He uses said doppelgänger to fake his own death long enough to capture Andrea and extract her blood (they also thwart the missile launch), but she escapes with her dad's frozen corpse pod that she apparently strapped rockets to.

Luckily, all these loose ends are ready to tie up in FOX's new Nick Fury series that everyone will love and definitely wouldn't have moved around the schedule three times before being unceremoniously canceled after six episodes.

We cover direct to video sequel to moderate Disney hit. Brendan Fraser say no to come back. No Leslie Mann either. Thomas Haden Church say yes. Career in toilet after Wings before Sideways. It George of the Jungle 2. From 2003.

Six years after the first film, George (now played by Christopher Showerman, which sounds like an alias someone came up with extemporaneously while in a locker room) and Ursula (now played by Julie Benz) have a five-year-old son George Jr. (played by an obviously way older than five Angus T. Jones). George balances home life with his duties as King of the Jungle. His role at the top spot is challenged by Mean Lion (Michael Clarke Duncan).

Meanwhile George's evil mother-in-law Beatrice (Christina Pickles) and Ursula's evil ex Lyle Van de Groot (Church) are plotting to seize Ape Island by stealing the deed from George's underwear. Ape (John Cleese) is working off gambling debts as a lounge singer. Also, Beatrice uses a Vegas hypnotist to mind control Ursula into getting back together with Van de Groot.

Will George save his family? Will be still be King of the Jungle? Will George Jr. ever enjoy swinging (a plot element we mostly missed)? Will Thomas Haden Church get an atomic wedgie from the hand of God? What abacus was used to generate the CGI effects? You'll just have to listen to find out!

Also, a warning to parents: George gets hurt into crashes tree, George's mouth wood tree then falls into ground. (no blood and injuries appearances)

Your Stupid Minds is back! Chuck Norris uses his iron leg to battle ninjas, mercenaries, and deceptive women in the low budget classic The Octagon!

Strap yourself in for the best approximation of the plot we could put together. Scott James (Chuck Norris) is a famous martial artist who has a secret past as a ninja. Or just trained as a ninja. He has an evil Japanese brother Seikura (Tadashi Yamashita) who got kicked out of ninja school and is now training terrorists against their will in the art of ninja. Scott goes on a date with a woman and she's killed by ninjas. He goes on a quest to find the ninjas and his evil brother.

Meanwhile his misogynist friend A.J. (Art Hindle) is desperately searching for a reason for his character to be in this movie. He's horning in on Scott's dates and swearing revenge on ninjas for the flimsiest of reasons.

Scott visits McCarn (Lee Van Cleef) a murderous mercenary, but a good one. Scott uses him to try to find Doggo (Kurt Grayson) who has some connection to the ninjas. Scott tries to become a mercenary but fails. Luckily that dangling plotline is recovered when Doggo tries to kill him. Scott finds another beautiful woman on the side of the road, Justine Wentworth (Karen Carlson). Scott has a structured settlement and he needs cash now, so this is the perfect woman for him.

He helps Justine with her car and she tries to seduce him but he's too cool. She's also trying to betray him, or trick him, or something? Anyway, A.J. dates her for a while and then she's killed by ninjas. A.J. swears revenge on the ninjas but then is kidnapped by the ninjas.

Scott finds a third woman who is ninja proof and they're off to kill the ninjas. He does so and saves A.J. By the way, the Octagon is some sort of obstacle course with ninjas in it. There's also some guy named Tibor but I forget what he does aside from sell furs.