After a contentious bidding war with New Line Cinema, Miramax was determined to revamp the Halloween franchise with this jumbled mess. It's 1995's Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, starring Donald Pleasance, Marianne Hagan, Kim Darby, and Paul Rudd.

When Michael Myers and his niece Jamie (J.C. Brandy) are kidnapped by cultists at the end of Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers (don't worry, we get into the series chronology in the episode), Jamie is forced to give birth to a baby for we assume child sacrifice purposes. She escapes with her newborn but is murdered by Michael; the killer is singularly determined to wipe out his entire bloodline (but is shockingly not very adept at it).

Meanwhile, a new Strode family has moved into Michael's murder mansion. Kara (Hagan) is a young woman trying to get her life back on track with her six year old son Danny (Devin Gardner). Much like his namesake in The Shining, Danny has special murderer powers and voices in his head, but unlike The Shining, this is unimportant and barely comes up.

Tommy Doyle (Rudd, credited as Paul Stephen Rudd in this pre-Clueless role) is the kid from the first movie who talks about the Bogeyman. This run-in with Michael 17 years prior has left him traumatized and obsessed with the killer, researching occult reasons for his murder spree on the mid-90s internet. He finds Jamie's baby at a bus station and lackadaisically decides to take care of it while they kinda figure out a way to do something. Also Dr. Loomis (Pleasance) is back on his perpetual mission to find and apprehend Michael.

Will these characters intersect? Does this movie have a purpose? Is Michael's mask too large, thick, and lumpy? Will someone get electrocuted so bad his head explodes? You'll have to listen to find out.

Your Stupid Minds starts its spooktacular October with a Spanish/Italian collab that numerous Letterboxd reviews describe as "giallo meets Scooby Doo," presumably because there's one mask reveal and some Italians are involved. It's 1972's The Murder Mansion!

After an "exciting" car/motorcycle chase, speed demon Fred (Andrés Resino) steals comely hitchhiker Laura (Lisa Leonardo) from sweaty creep Mr. Porter (Franco Fantasia). Meanwhile, neurotic divorcee Elsa (Analía Gadé) races off into the foggy night with some other people. They all find themselves lost in the fog (even after Fred asks directions from the Grim Reaper) and end up at the titular murder mansion, an old house in the foothills of Spain with its very own cemetery! It's overseen by the young Martha Clinton, a descendant of the house's original satanic inhabitants.

Soon, strange things begin to occur, not entirely spurred by Fred's morbid fascination with going to the basement. A lumbering chauffeur (not unlike Maniac Cop or Tor Johnson) and an old woman (not unlike Vampiria or an elderly version of Martha) keep menacing the house guests.

Is the house really supernatural, or is there a a more earthly, Giallo-like explanation? How many times will Fred go to the basement? Will a murder ever happen in the murder mansion? You'll just have to listen to find out!

Wirework lover and wife guy Paul W.S. Anderson tries his hand at an adventure classic with 2011's The Three Musketeers! How is he going to find a way to add Matrix fights, laser traps and exploding airships into this one? Starring Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen, Chrisoph Waltz, and, you guessed it, Milla Jovovich.

After a successful heist in Venice, the musketeers and Milady manage to steal Leonardo la Vinci's famous airship plans. Athos (Matthew Macfadyen) uses his classic scuba ninja skills, Aramis (Evans) his Assassin's Creed cloak-wearing skills, and Porthos (Stevenson) his getting into prison on purpose skills. However, tragedy strikes when Milady, with the help of the Duke of Buckingham (Bloom) betrays the team and steals the plans for the duke.

One year later, D'Artagnan (Logan Lerman) is a Gascon bumpkin heading to the big city to start duels with everyone he meets. After picking a fight with Rochefort (Mikkelsen), the best swordsman in France, he picks fights with the 2nd-4th best swordsmen in France: the Three Musketeers. But they become friends anyway, and engage in a highly bastardized version of the book's plot in order to thwart the evil plan of Cardinal Richelieu (Waltz).

Will the team accomplish whatever they were trying to do? Will they integrate a bunch of 2010s style 3D elements? Will an airship be shot at by an even bigger airship? You'll just have to listen to find out!