What do kids really need from a mentor?

In this episode, Zach sits down with Dr. Anthony Bradley to talk about fatherlessness, mentoring, and the kind of relationships that help kids grow into healthy adults.

Dr. Anthony Bradley has spent nearly three decades studying boys, fathers, families, and human flourishing. He’s written more than a dozen books, taught at the university level for decades, holds a PhD from Westminster Theological Seminary, and has been featured on CNN, Fox News, NPR, and C-SPAN. He is one of the leading Christian voices helping us understand what boys need from fathers, mentors, churches, and communities.

Dr. Bradley challenges the idea that mentoring is primarily about giving advice, teaching lessons, or correcting behavior. Kids need adults who show up, spend time with them, listen, and genuinely enjoy being around them. Great mentors become the people kids know they can turn to when life gets hard.

In this conversation:

• What fatherlessness can do to a child
• Why boys need healthy men in their lives
• Why presence often matters more than another lesson
• What it means to be a “warm” mentor
• Why kids need to know that you actually like them
• How listening builds trust
• Why mentors should resist becoming drill sergeants
• How everyday experiences teach perseverance, failure, character, and life
• Why the best mentors become trusted people kids can turn to
• How healthy adults can help surround kids with the relationships they need to thrive

Dr. Anthony Bradley also unpacks the devastating data on father absence—suicide, homelessness, dropout rates, violence—and why ordinary men showing up with presence can rewrite a child’s future. Through Bradley’s own story of mentoring a drug-selling teen named JJ over two decades (from Denny’s dinners to a transformed life as a husband, father, and leader), they reveal that mentoring isn’t about being Superman; it’s about consistent relationship, unconditional acceptance, and surrounding kids with a tribe of caring adults in the name of Jesus

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Dr. Anthony Bradley has a brand-new book coming out called The Fatherhood Effect. It takes a hard look at what happens to kids, families, churches, and communities when fathers are absent, disengaged, or disconnected from their children, and what we can actually do about it. Anthony brings together research on fatherlessness, attachment, warmth, and the incredible influence fathers have on their kids, along with practical ways we can help fathers become more present and connected. If you care about mentoring, fatherhood, or helping the next generation thrive, I think you’re going to want this one. The Fatherhood Effect releases November 17 and is available for preorder now on Amazon.

You can learn more about him below:

https://anthonybbradley.substack.com/

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• If this podcast has encouraged or equipped you, would you take 30 seconds to leave a 5-star rating? On Apple Podcasts, scroll to the bottom of the You Can Mentor page and click “Write a Review.” On Spotify, go to our page, click the three dots next to the settings wheel, and hit “Rate Show.” It helps us reach more mentors like you.

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Want to go deeper?

• Join our National Christian Mentoring Network

• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop

• Check out our annual Mentoring Leadership Summit + other mentoring events

You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor

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If you want to become a better mentor or build a stronger mentoring organization, check out the You Can Mentor book library. We’ve written resources on building trust, showing up consistently, understanding kids from hard places, partnering with families, sharing your faith, handling difficult situations, and leading with humility.

Books like:

• You Can Mentor
• The Youth Mentoring Playbook Volumes 1,2,and 3
• Tell Me About Your Father

These books were written to give mentors and mentoring leaders practical tools they can actually use. You can find all of our books and resources at You Can Mentor or find them on Amazon.

What if the hardest conversations you have with your mentee could actually become some of the most important moments in your relationship? In this episode of You Can Mentor, Zach and Derrick unpack the power of building trust, creating a safe environment, and earning the right to speak truth—even when that truth is difficult to hear. Discover how to have hard conversations with love, wisdom, courage, and the fruit of the Spirit while calling the people you mentor toward the person God created them to be.

• If this podcast has encouraged or equipped you, would you take 30 seconds to leave a 5-star rating? On Apple Podcasts, scroll to the bottom of the You Can Mentor page and click “Write a Review.” On Spotify, go to our page, click the three dots next to the settings wheel, and hit “Rate Show.” It helps us reach more mentors like you.

Want to go deeper?

• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community

• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop

• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering

You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor

Meredith Murray is a Christian nonprofit leader and host of the Empowered Life Podcast with Allies in Youth Development, an organization serving vulnerable children through mentoring around the world. With a background in education, ministry, community engagement, and supporting survivors of human trafficking, Meredith has spent her career walking alongside people and helping them recognize their God-given value and purpose.

Allies in Youth Development is a Christian nonprofit that equips local mentors around the world to provide vulnerable and orphaned children with consistent relationships, life skills, education, and spiritual support.

This episode centers on the idea that you don’t need the perfect story, experience, or answers to make a difference—you simply need to show up and be present. Zach and Meredith explore how God uses mentors to bring hope, healing, and transformation not only to vulnerable kids, but to mentors, families, and entire communities around the world. Plus, they go into great detail of the power of prayer in your mentoring org and mentoring relationship. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re qualified to mentor, this conversation will remind you that what God has placed in you may be exactly what someone else needs.

• If this podcast has encouraged or equipped you, would you take 30 seconds to leave a 5-star rating? On Apple Podcasts, scroll to the bottom of the You Can Mentor page and click “Write a Review.” On Spotify, go to our page, click the three dots next to the settings wheel, and hit “Rate Show.” It helps us reach more mentors like you.

--

Want to go deeper?

• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community

• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop

• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering

You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor