If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, burned out, or quietly convinced that something is wrong with you, you’re not alone.

Many of us were taught — directly or indirectly — that growth requires self-criticism. That kindness toward ourselves has to be earned. That rest comes after we do enough.

But from both lived experience and neuroscience, we know this isn’t how healing actually works.

In this episode of Notes to My Nervous System, I spoke with meditation teacher and author Kimberly Brown about mindfulness, loving-kindness, and what self-compassion really means when life feels heavy.

Kimberly shared a message she would give her younger self — and one so many of us need to hear now: There’s nothing wrong with you.

For years, she described trying to fix herself, feeling frustrated and angry at who she was. Mindfulness didn’t magically erase struggle — but it helped her stop turning pain inward.

We explore:

• Why self-compassion isn’t selfish or complacent

• How self-criticism quietly fuels burnout and nervous system overload

• A simple, accessible three-step path to self-compassion: notice, pause, practice

• How loving-kindness (metta) meditation supports emotional regulation and resilience

• Why just a few minutes a day of mindfulness can make a meaningful difference

• Meditation tips for busy people, parents, and anyone who struggles to sit still

Kimberly also shares insights from her books — including Steady, Calm and Brave, Navigating Grief and Loss, and Happy Relationships — all centered on using mindfulness and loving-kindness to support ourselves and our relationships through difficult seasons.

This conversation isn’t about fixing yourself.

It’s about remembering that kindness doesn’t need to be earned — and that a regulated nervous system grows best in an environment of safety, not shame.

You can find Kimberly and her work at meditationwiththeheart.com, where she offers classes, one-on-one support, and a free weekly newsletter with guided meditations. IG: @kimberlyjbrown FB: @meditationwithheart

If your nervous system has been tired lately, this episode is a gentle place to land.

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