エピソード

  • All That We Are

    All That We Are
    2025/03/13

    You can find an updated and improved version of this article on bornwithoutborders.world.

    I only use Substack for their ad-free networking, Notes, and live videos now.

    Why?

    * Ghost lets me publish like I think: across cultures, languages, and formats.

    * I’m supporting a non-profit, decentralized, carbon-neutral business not funded by undeniably evil twats like Marc Andreessen.

    * I’ll actually have a technical support team.

    I'm staying away from the social media nightmare where likes define your worth, comments replace community, and billionaires capitalize. If you want to support my work, do what we did before we got scrolling brains–share it in an email, talk about it, send it in a text message, and leave the feed that feeds the lords of technofeudalism. Subscribe to bornwithoutborders.world.



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bornwithoutborders.substack.com/subscribe
    続きを読む 一部表示
    3 分
  • How do You Build Global Connections?

    How do You Build Global Connections?
    2025/01/21

    You can find an updated and improved version of this article on bornwithoutborders.world.

    I only use Substack for their ad-free networking, Notes, and live videos now.

    Why?

    * Ghost lets me publish like I think: across cultures, languages, and formats.

    * I’m supporting a non-profit, decentralized, carbon-neutral business not funded by undeniably evil twats like Marc Andreessen.

    * I’ll actually have a technical support team.

    I'm staying away from the social media nightmare where likes define your worth, comments replace community, and billionaires capitalize. If you want to support my work, do what we did before we got scrolling brains–share it in an email, talk about it, send it in a text message, and leave the feed that feeds the lords of technofeudalism. Subscribe to bornwithoutborders.world.



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bornwithoutborders.substack.com/subscribe
    続きを読む 一部表示
    5 分
  • Why My Body is for Sale

    Why My Body is for Sale
    2025/01/14

    You can find an updated and improved version of this article on bornwithoutborders.world.

    Click here for the updated article.

    I only use Substack for their ad-free networking, Notes, and live videos now.

    Why?

    * Ghost lets me publish like I think: across cultures, languages, and formats.

    * I’m supporting a non-profit, decentralized, carbon-neutral business not funded by undeniably evil twats like Marc Andreessen.

    * I’ll actually have a technical support team.

    I'm staying away from the social media nightmare where likes define your worth, comments replace community, and billionaires capitalize. If you want to support my work, do what we did before we got scrolling brains–share it in an email, talk about it, send it in a text message, and leave the feed that feeds the lords of technofeudalism. Subscribe to bornwithoutborders.world.



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bornwithoutborders.substack.com/subscribe
    続きを読む 一部表示
    8 分
  • The Spanish City You Probably Haven't Heard Of

    The Spanish City You Probably Haven't Heard Of
    2025/01/07
    Before we get into the article, here's a quick note: I’m starting classes and courses where I mediate discussions with people across the ideological spectrum. We find common interests and goals to build bridges across divides. Send me a DM or respond to this email if this interests you.You’re in a relationship with what’s in front of you, not with its potential. While this might be sound advice for romantic relationships, it’s a whole other ballgame when it comes to investing in real estate.When I first stepped foot in Valencia, Spain, I fell in love with what was in front of me: its cosmopolitan energy with a Spanish flair, beaches, parks, excellent bike paths and public transport, terrace culture, cheap food, markets, an international airport, sculpted beach bodies, sounds and smells I’d never encountered, mountains in the distance, and 300 days of sun a year (with a side of potential skin cancer).It’s not hard to see why Valencia is frequently voted as the best city for Expats, Europe’s green capital, and why its record-breaking housing prices are causing a crisis for many local renters.If I had invested in Valencia’s real estate potential five years ago, the apartment's value could have appreciated by approximately 50% or more, considering the recent 17% annual increase. Yet, what was in front of me was already out of my budget.Instead, I turned to Comunidad Valencia’s fourth-biggest city, Castellón de la Plana. Known as one of the ugliest cities in Spain, Castellón de la Plana has been steadily revamping its reputation since I arrived.(No, not because of me.) In recent years, Castellón de la Plana has undergone significant urban development and beautification efforts, evidenced by its transformation and the stunning Christmas displays of 2024.Key initiatives include the completion of the Ronda Oeste, a major infrastructure project supported by the Generalitat Valenciana and the Castellón City Council, with a €46 million investment aimed at improving urban connectivity and traffic flow.These local efforts are complemented by Castellón’s participation in European initiatives, such as the Intelligent Cities Challenge, which focuses on sustainable urban planning and energy efficiency, and the UNaLab project, funded by the EU’s Horizon 2020 program, which enhances urban sustainability through nature-based solutions.Nature—it’s one of the main reasons I’ve decided to stay in Castellon de la Plana instead of trying to make ends meet in Valencia.The Desert de les Palmes Natural Park is a mountainous landscape that flanks the coastline, defined by its rugged summits and popular walking trails.For cycling enthusiasts, the Via Verde Green Route provides a scenic path through diverse landscapes, making it a favoured choice for both cyclists and hikers. Well, it’s flat, so maybe the better word is “walkers.”Additionally, the Sierra de Irta Natural Park offers a combination of mountainous terrain and pristine beaches, ideal for hiking and enjoying unspoiled (outside of the summer months) coastal scenery.The Penyagolosa Natural Park is home to Mount Penyagolosa, the highest peak in the province, making it a haven for hikers and climbers seeking trails and stunning views.Off the coast, the Columbretes Islands Nature Reserve is an archipelago renowned for its rich marine biodiversity, popular for diving and boat excursions.Lastly, the Serra d'Espadà Natural Park is known for its lush cork oak forests and diverse wildlife, offering numerous trails for hiking and exploring nature.Yet, these aren’t places you can visit daily unless you’re retired. If you have a busy and sporadic schedule like mine, you might want to live in a neighbourhood with parks, beaches, bars, restaurants, supermarkets, and everything else you need within a 10-minute walk.That’s why I chose El Grao, Castellon de la Plana’s coastal district and port area. Similar to Valencia’s Cabanyal, it was considered one of the most sketchy neighbourhoods, “full of Gitanos (gypsies) and Moroccans.” And whereas this sentence might sound racist AF, it reflects how many people talk here. That’s no excuse, but people in Castellón have historically viewed El Grao negatively through those labels. As a result, my property value hasn’t skyrocketed like those in Cabanyal, Valencia.In the town of El Grao, I’m one of the only guiris—white-ass foreigners who wear flip-flops in winter. The other foreigners live a fifteen-minute walk away in villas on the beach. Yet, every year, I hear more English, German, and French as I walk through El Grao. Most of these people are retired, but thanks to UJI, Castellon’s university, you can also find younger crowds from across Europe.While locals remain skeptical of the area, foreigners are increasingly drawn to it. This was also the case with Cabanyal, Valencia. Now, those same locals who looked down on Cabanyal are kicking themselves for not investing.You might think...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    13 分
  • Immanuel Kant VS. Cultural Psychology

    Immanuel Kant VS. Cultural Psychology
    2024/12/31

    You can now read the article on Ghost.

    Click here.



    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bornwithoutborders.substack.com/subscribe
    続きを読む 一部表示
    12 分
  • Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures

    Letting Go of a Toxic Relationship Across Cultures
    2024/12/26
    People who have already subscribed to Born Without Borders received the written and podcast versions on Tuesday. I’m releasing this video version to play around with Substack’s new tools and see if the algorithm favours video uploads.Also, for those of you who didn’t know, Substack automatically creates captions clips, and you can sync the videos directly to your Youtube channel. Letting go of a toxic relationship and the trauma bond it created isn’t just about “fixing” yourself—it’s about untangling the web of manipulation, unmet needs, and misplaced self-worth. Let’s explore this journey that left me heart feening and pecker retreating.Recognizing the CycleTrauma bonding thrives universally on a loop of kindness and hurt—a toxic rollercoaster of validation and betrayal. In every culture, this cycle creates confusion and reinforces emotional dependency. However, how people recognize and address this cycle often reflects cultural attitudes toward relationships and conflict.* Individualistic Cultures (cultures prioritizing the individual over the collective group—common in the West): The recognition process often begins with open dialogue and self-reflection, facilitated by therapy or personal writing. Survivors are encouraged to dissect patterns objectively, often finding clarity through cognitive-behavioural approaches that separate emotional reactions from facts.* Collectivist Cultures (cultures that emphasize harmony, duty, and interdependence—common in the East): The cycle might be less openly discussed due to societal pressures to maintain harmony or protect the family’s reputation. Reflecting on this dynamic often involves seeking wisdom from elders or trusted confidants, emphasizing relational wisdom over individual analysis.Regardless of culture, writing about the moments of love and betrayal—whether privately or as part of a shared healing practice—remains a transformative tool. Psychologists also note that articulating the narrative helps survivors reframe their experiences, creating distance from the abuser's control.However, I’m not sure “abuser” is the right word. For one, I’m not into the whole victimhood narrative. Two, viewing the insults, cheating, and betrayals as products of someone’s past, not their true character, made it easier to forgive. Three, the happy memories: all the laughter, travel, intimacy, the effort they put into gifts, the way they reflected my soul, shared past-life dreams—Sometimes, the “survivor” can’t let go and becomes their own abuser.Setting Boundaries That StickCutting ties is easier said than done. Trauma bonds often create an illusion of “unfinished business,” making survivors feel guilty for trying to leave and absolutely worthless if they get left.* Western Perspectives: Boundaries are viewed as empowering acts of self-care. Tools like blocking on social media or ceasing all communication are common, reflecting a belief in the individual’s right to peace.* Non-Western Perspectives: Setting boundaries may involve more subtle or indirect strategies to avoid open conflict. Survivors might limit interactions while maintaining formal politeness, especially in cultures where direct confrontation is discouraged.For both, the challenge lies in consistency. Research suggests that having an accountability partner—someone who supports you in maintaining these boundaries (in my case, my bro telling me I sound like a heroin addict)—can significantly reduce the likelihood of relapse into unhealthy dynamics.Replacing the AddictionTrauma bonds mimic addiction. Breaking the cycle requires finding healthier, more fulfilling replacements.* Western Approaches: Activities like therapy, exercise, and journaling are emphasized as steady sources of joy.* Non-Western Approaches: Spiritual practices, community service, and traditional healing methods often take precedence.Research shows that consistent engagement in nourishing activities rewires the brain, reducing the emotional dependency created by trauma bonds. However, for those of us who exercised and ate healthy long before the trauma bond, it’s not much of a replacement, unfortunately.Reclaiming Your IdentityRebuilding your sense of self after leaving a toxic relationship is central to recovery. This process often intersects with cultural narratives about identity and purpose.* In Individualistic Cultures, identity is often framed in terms of personal achievements and preferences. Survivors might be encouraged to rediscover hobbies, career goals, or creative outlets. For instance, journaling and art therapy are popular tools for expressing and reclaiming identity in Western contexts.Unfortunately, writing as a career requires recognition to succeed, and when you have an unhealthy need for recognition, it can turn toxic, too. So, if you’re anything like me, I recommend the collectivistic culture approach.* In Collectivist Cultures, identity is closely tied to ...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    12 分
  • Is Culture Really Just for Humans?

    Is Culture Really Just for Humans?
    2024/12/17
    Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."— Genesis 1:26F**k that s**t. We see ourselves as complex, symbolic beings, while animals, we assume, are just instinct-driven beasts over which we have dominion. And by “we,” I mean those influenced by Judeo-Christian rhetoric, not those from the wisdom societies who understood everything is connected before scientists had to prove it. Luckily, the more we learn (or rather unlearn), the more it seems other species also have their own “cultural” quirks. So, are we actually that special, or are we just the only ones pretentious enough to debate it? What Even Is Culture?First off, what qualifies as culture? If we define culture as using symbols to create shared meaning—a sort of private language club for each species—then yes, humans have it in the bag. No other animals seem to use abstract symbols or grammar. But this definition is a bit like setting the rules of a game so only humans can win.A broader definition could just mean “learning behaviours from others in your group.” And if that’s the bar, then humans are not alone in the cultural game. Many animals show cultural learning—just maybe without the existential monologues.Meet Some Animal Culture Stars* Chimpanzees: Our close cousins use sticks to fish for termites and stones to crack nuts, with different communities showing distinct tool-use habits. It’s like local cuisine for chimps—some are into the bark-peeling technique, and others are more of the twig-fishing variety. They’re even known to learn from each other, which sounds suspiciously like cultural transmission—the way a “person” learns about a new culture by engaging and immersing themselves in culture.)* Dolphins and Orcas: Dolphins are another species that seems to enjoy DIY culture. In certain areas, dolphins use marine sponges as “gloves” while hunting to avoid scratches. Orcas, on the other hand, develop unique vocal “dialects” and specialized hunting strategies that are passed down through generations. They don’t just live in the deep—they live in pods with distinct traditions.* Macaques: In one famous case, a young macaque named Imo figured out that washing sand off sweet potatoes in the water made them taste better. Soon, her friends and family were imitating her—and just like that, sweet-potato-washing became the hottest cultural trend on the island. This didn’t happen overnight, but hey, they didn’t have the marketing budgets human trend-pushers have. * Birds and Fish: Some songbirds learn regional tunes, while certain fish follow food-finding strategies from others. It’s not jazz night at the village bar, but it does show that animals are doing a little social learning and passing it down.Don’t worry. I still think you’re special. Animals have learned behaviours passed down socially. But here’s where humans shine: we do it faster, more widely, and with a unique twist called cumulative culture. In human societies, it’s not just about copying someone else; it’s about building on each new idea to reach a new level—essentially making us the kings and queens of the "cultural snowball effect."Take language, for instance. Vervet monkeys have a few calls to warn each other about predators, but there’s no “syntax” in their system. Meanwhile, humans have languages with rich vocabularies, grammar, and syntax—all evolving and expanding over generations. Sure, animals have their dialects, but so far, nothing comes close to the complexity of human language. Why Are Humans Obsessed with Imitating the “Cool Kids”?Another human specialty is our “prestige bias.” We’re constantly on the lookout and, thanks to advertising and Hollywood, bombarded with people who have what we want—status, money, and sex. We tend to copy those who have these things more than the 40-year-old virgin living in their mom’s basement. This strategy is super efficient: rather than reinventing the wheel, we watch the “best” people do it and borrow their methods. Case in point: a study found that kids are more likely to imitate a “prestigious” adult model than a random one. Unfortunately, many of these “best” people—the billionaire celebrities—are self-interested psychopaths. However, in the animal kingdom, it’s mostly an “anyone will do” approach. Macaques, for example, don’t seem to care if the potato-washer they’re copying is a star in their community or just the neighbour.So, What’s the Verdict? Are We Just Fancier, Wordy Chimps?It’s clear that many animals have behaviours that spread through social learning, which is essentially culture in a broad sense. But humans crank this up a notch with complex language, fast and ...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    8 分
  • Why Are We So Obsessed with War?

    Why Are We So Obsessed with War?
    2024/11/26
    Video VersionThink back to history class. Or don’t—you probably remember enough about humans constantly clobbering each other since the dawn of civilization. Fast-forward to today, and you’d think we’d have figured out that tribalistic (which, in many ways, is synonymous with populistic) thinking leads to war. Instead, we’re still witnessing power plays and territorial disputes, only now with nukes and a couple of social media battles thrown in.This raises a reasonable question: why are we so obsessed with war? What’s the deal? Let’s unpack some of the theories and sprinkle in a little skepticism.Evolutionary Theory: Blame It on the GenesEvolutionary psychologists tell us that our DNA might just be the bad influence egging us on. The story goes like this: our “selfish genes” want us to stick around as long as possible to replicate, and one way to ensure this is to grab resources and defend them from others. So, if some other group wants our food, water, women, or land, guess what? They’re a threat to our genes, and we need to smash them before they smash us.But then why do we still fight when we’ve got plenty of food and resources? When it’s not about survival, what’s the excuse? Also, if war is in our DNA, why do we see some groups that live in harmony?Testosterone & Serotonin: Blame It on the BiochemistryMost men have a higher dose of testosterone, which might turn them into the caveman archetypes we see on the Joe Rogan podcast, the Trump administration, and me during my workouts. Testosterone has been linked to aggression, so naturally, war becomes an extension of manly urges gone wild, right? And when serotonin (the “chill out” chemical) runs low, the aggression spikes even more.But let’s give testosterone a break—it might make me hairy, horny, and hunky, but it’s not the magic key to why we wage organized, tactical war. Besides, the historical evidence doesn’t show ancient men throwing stones at each other all the time. In fact, for thousands of years, societies lived quite peacefully.The Myth of Ancient WarfareDespite what some textbooks suggest, not all early human societies were obsessed with violence. Anthropologists like Douglas Fry and Patrik Soderberg studied 21 modern hunter-gatherer groups and found very few deaths by group violence. Most conflicts were small-scale disputes, not full-blown tribal wars. The archaeologist R. Brian Ferguson also showed that warfare, as we know it, is barely 10,000 years old—a flash in human history.The point? Big, organized wars aren’t exactly coded into us. They’re more like an acquired taste, like oysters, scotch, and the other luxuries politicians enjoy while they send young men to bomb innocent women and children. Psychological Perks of War: Because Life’s Just Too BoringHere’s a curveball: what if we go to war because it makes us feel good? The great psychologist William James explored this idea, suggesting that war has some addictive qualities. War shakes things up like group sex. It makes people feel alive and united, bringing them together against a common enemy. James wrote that war helps people transcend the humdrum of everyday life—like a high-stakes game where the whole community gets a rush of purpose, honour, and courage. And as bizarre as it sounds, it offers individuals something to fight for, filling life with meaning (and probably a lot of adrenaline).Historically, wars also fuel what James called “discipline.” In other words, everyone’s suddenly on their best behaviour, all chipping in to support the cause. The “war effort” unites everyone—from soldiers on the front lines to civilians rationing food. However, I experienced all this while volunteering in the devastating aftermath of DANA in Comunidad Valencia. Here, no matter one’s political or religious beliefs, people came to help. Well, aside from the politicians, of course. They’re too busy stirring up division. Which brings me to…Nationalism, Group Identity, and the “Us vs. Them” SyndromeLet’s not forget how much we love a good “us vs. them” narrative. SPORTS! Humans have a deep-seated need to belong to a group—it’s practically a survival mechanism. Unfortunately, this sense of belonging often mutates into nationalism, religious fervour, or plain old ethnic rivalry. When people latch onto a group identity, they often fall into a “we’re better than them” mindset. Think about it: Crusaders vs. Muslims, Catholics vs. Protestants, East vs. West, Drake vs. Kendrick, take your pick. Once that switch flips, people feel justified in treating “them” as enemies, stripping them of empathy and respect.This is what psychologists call “moral exclusion.” Basically, we see the “other” as less human, making it easier to exploit or even annihilate them without a second thought. We draw the line around who’s “worthy” of rights, respect, and life itself, creating a moral free-for-all outside our ...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    10 分