Wired Differently: Unpacking Men and Women in Relationships | Jan Meyer | Episode 31
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On the latest episode of the Guy Shrink Podcast, host Bill Roman welcomes seasoned therapist Jan Meyer to explore the fundamental differences between men and women in relationships. With over 50 years of friendship and professional expertise, Jan shares insights from her practice and personal life, highlighting how men often focus on solutions and efficiency, while women prioritize emotional connection and relational understanding. She discusses how men tend to let go of issues quickly, whereas women may dwell on them, leading to communication gaps—like when a husband forgets a morning disagreement by evening, leaving his partner still processing. Jan emphasizes the importance of recognizing these differences, noting that stereotypes hold true about 80% of the time, and encourages couples to study these distinctions to improve mutual understanding.
Jan delves into practical strategies for bridging these gaps, such as women clearly stating whether they need a listener or a problem-solver, and men learning to validate feelings rather than jumping to fix issues. She introduces the concept of men having "drawers" in their brains, handling one issue at a time, while women's thoughts are interconnected, often leading to misunderstandings. Using analogies like men as "hunters" and women as "shoppers," Jan illustrates how men seek direct solutions, while women explore options relationally. The episode wraps with a call to honor these innate differences, with Jan's elevator pitch urging couples to understand that neither partner intends to create conflict—it's simply a matter of wiring.
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