I want to tell you about a moment I remember so clearly from early in my own parenting journey.

My son was melting down — fully, completely falling apart — over something that seemed so small to me. And everything in me just wanted it to stop. So I moved in with my most calm, firm mom voice: “Stop. Take a breath. You need to calm down right now.”

And you know what happened? He got louder. More dysregulated. More out of reach.

I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought staying firm and redirecting was the answer. And yet every time I tried harder to get him to stop, the meltdown got bigger. I felt like I was failing him — and honestly, like I was failing myself.

Have you ever been there? That awful feeling of watching your child fall apart and knowing that everything you’re doing isn’t working?

It’s completely normal to feel that way. Most parents do. And it’s not because you’re doing something wrong — it’s because nobody gave you the information you actually needed.

What I eventually learned — and what changed everything in our home — is that when a child is in the middle of big feelings, their nervous system is in protection mode. And you cannot force a nervous system out of protection mode. The more you push for calm, the more it pushes back.

What works is something that feels almost counterintuitive at first: staying present instead of pushing. Moving toward your child with “I see you, I’m here” instead of “stop, calm down, listen.” Not because you’re giving in — but because safety is what actually allows the nervous system to settle.

I made a short video this week that walks you through a hands-on exercise so you can feel this difference in your own body — not just understand it in your head. I promise it’s worth a few minutes of your time.

Watch it here:

And if you watch that video and something in you says “yes — this is exactly what’s happening in our house” — I want you to know there’s a place to go deeper.

My course, How to Help Your Child with Big Feelings and Challenging Behavior, is open for enrollment right now, and it closes Thursday at midnight.

This is where you go beyond the concept and actually learn what to do and what to say in the real moments — when your child is overwhelmed, when things are escalating, when you’re exhausted and you just don’t know what to try next. You’ll learn how to understand what’s happening beneath your child’s behavior, how to regulate your own nervous system so you can show up the way you want to, and how to respond in ways that actually help — not just in the short term, but over time.

I want to be upfront with you — I’m not sure when I’ll offer this course again in this format. If this feels like your window, I’d love to support you on the inside.

You can learn more and enroll here: https://www.delightinparenting.com/course2026

Enrollment closes tomorrow at midnight.

You are not broken. Your child is not broken. You just need the tools — and I have them ready for you.

With hope,

Dajana

P.S. Even if the course isn’t the right fit right now, go watch the video. The exercise alone will give you something tangible to try the next time things start to escalate.