Are you tired of feeling "too much" or blaming yourself for relationship patterns? In this powerful episode, we challenge the idea that codependency and boundary struggles are character flaws. Join Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, a psychologist specializing in relationships and the nervous system, for a conversation that reframes your deepest struggles as adaptive, protective responses.

You'll discover:

• Codependency as Protection: It often stems from an early-life belief that safety requires "make sureing"—controlling outcomes to prevent rupture. We explore how this unintentional control can undermine the other partner's competence, rupturing secure attachment.

• Boundaries as Regulation: Why setting boundaries feels so difficult. It's not a lack of willpower, but a sign your nervous system associates the boundary with risk. You'll learn how awareness of a "flooded" state is the key to pausing and setting a boundary as a "trust gesture."

• The Power of Asking: The essential shift from a guessing culture to an asking culture in relationships. Learning to ask brave questions instead of making assumptions is the foundation for building the two criteria for secure attachment: feeling known and feeling competent.

• Glimmers of Safety: How focusing on "glimmers"—moments when you feel safe and connected—helps your nervous system build internal evidence that the world is not "only danger."

If you want to move beyond shame and into safety, this episode is your gentle reframe.

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