Why You Can't Switch Off (And What's Really Driving It)
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Why You Can't Switch Off (And What's Really Driving It)
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I remember the day I handed in my pass after 17 years in my corporate career. I felt naked. I had no idea what I was going to do next, and what struck me hardest was the thought that nobody would be interested in me for who I am, only for what I do.
That is the root of a mind that cannot switch off.
In this episode, I talk about the years I spent working late into the night, and the years before that when I was never really off, always turning over a problem, always half elsewhere. I use the image of sucking a sweet with the wrapper still on: going through the motions of life without ever tasting it. Underneath it is an addiction to doing, and the belief that our safety, our lovability and our worth depend on proving ourselves in some way.
Most of us know intellectually that this is not true, which is why we get so frustrated with ourselves for still doing it. But judging yourself for it only tightens the grip. The way out is self-compassion. It is not your fault you learned these stories. Mine came from a childhood where being good enough felt like the price of being loved.
I close with three questions worth sitting with, including this one: what would you have to believe about yourself to allow yourself to stop and be present in this moment?