Most dating apps let you create a profile in five minutes. No ID. No background check. Nothing. That's not a bug. That's a decision.

When my mom started dating again after 30 years, I helped her set up her profiles. What I found scared me. Fake profiles everywhere. Men who weren't who they said they were. And not a single platform doing anything meaningful to stop it.

So I started digging. And what I found was worse than I ever imagined.

In this first episode of Heart & Hazard, I'm sharing the story that started all of this — why the people most at risk on dating apps aren't teenagers, why smart people fall for romance scams, and why the platforms know and do nothing.

This isn't a show about being cautious. It's a show about being informed. And there is a difference.

Episode 1: Why I Built This

If something about modern dating has felt off to you — you're right.

In this episode, I share the story behind Pare Dating and the reason I couldn't stay quiet about what's happening on dating apps today. It starts with my mom, who re-entered the dating world after 30 years and encountered something I wasn't prepared for. What began as helping her set up a profile turned into a year and a half of research that changed everything I thought I knew about the online dating industry.

We cover:

• Why dating apps are structurally incentivized to allow fake profiles and scammers
• Who is actually being targeted — and why
• The psychology behind romance scams and why "trust your gut" doesn't work
• Real stories of what happens when scammers go beyond money
• What I built to try to fix it, and why safety doesn't have to ruin dating

Stats mentioned in this episode:

• In 2023, Americans reported losing over $672 million to romance scams (FTC)
• An estimated 5–10% of romance scam victims ever come forward to report it
• 1 in 3 women who have used a dating app report being harassed
• Romance fraud targets people over 50 more than any other age group

Update since recording: A Washington Times report published in April 2025 estimates Americans lost over $3 billion to romance scams in 2024 — up from $1.2 billion the year prior. The numbers are only getting worse.

About Pare Dating

Pare is a dating experience built specifically for adults over 40. Every person on the platform is verified with a government-issued ID, a criminal background check, and sex offender registry screening before they can connect with anyone.

Pare is currently in early access. If you want to be one of the first people on the platform, the link is below.

🔗 [Join Pare Early Access] → www.paredating.com 🔗

If you or someone you know has been affected by romance fraud:

• Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca | 1-888-495-8501
• FTC (US) Report Fraud: reportfraud.ftc.gov
• Romance Scam reporting (US): www.ic3.gov