Listener note: This episode shares deeply personal stories involving childhood trauma, emotional disconnection, abuse, mental health struggles, and parental estrangement. Please listen with care, and feel free to pause, step away, or return when it feels supportive for you.

What happens when you are mourning someone who is still walking this earth? In this deeply personal solo episode of The Healing Circle, host Christine Higgins opens up about one of the most painful, silent, and misunderstood forms of human suffering: ambiguous grief. Whether it stems from addiction, estrangement, mental illness, or emotional disconnection, grieving the living carries a unique layer of shame and a complete lack of a roadmap.

Christine shares her raw, firsthand experiences navigating this complex grief in two major chapters of her life. First, she reflects on her childhood relationship with her father, witnessing his severe mental health decline, and the complicated wave of relief that accompanied his eventual passing. Then, she opens up about her own "dark night of the soul" when her daughter moved out and stopped speaking to her. She talks about the painful truth that parenting has no manual, why she had to completely let go of control, and how an unexpected walk on opposite sides of the street during COVID-19 slowly brought them back together.

Tune in for a comforting conversation on how to stop abandoning yourself while waiting for others to change, how to love someone while holding firm boundaries, and how to find peace within your own healing journey.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 Intro

0:54 Grieving someone who is still alive

2:10 Growing up with a father struggling with mental health

4:06 A warning from the spiritual realm before his passing

5:44 Navigating the complicated feeling of relief in loss

8:42 Only healing others to the depth of your own healing

9:24 The painful reality of parent child estrangement

10:44 Surviving the dark night of the soul

12:56 Parenting without a manual and admitting our mistakes

14:54 How COVID forced an unexpected path to reconciliation

16:48 Releasing control and letting them go in order to grow

18:44 Learning to love someone while keeping your boundaries

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Welcome to The Healing Circle podcast, a grounded and soulful space for a healing journey through real-life conversations. Each week features live shamanic counselling sessions and conversations with brave souls navigating emotional change, identity shifts, grief, and soul-level transformation. This space is for those seeking healing, clarity, emotional guidance, and spiritual awakening.

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