This conversation with Brian Recker centres on what happens when the belief system you built your life around no longer feels honest or humane.

We talk about growing up inside fear based religion, the cost of belonging to high control systems, and what it means to start questioning ideas that once felt untouchable. Brian reflects on the quiet tension of knowing something is harmful while still being afraid to let it go, and the emotional fallout that can follow when identity, community, and certainty begin to unravel.

There is a recurring thread throughout this episode around fear versus compassion. Between belief as control and belief as care. Between inherited frameworks and the slow work of rebuilding a way of living that puts humanity first. Rather than arguing for or against religion, this conversation stays with the experience of deconstruction and the patience required to find meaning without coercion or shame.

What comes up in the conversation

In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up inside fundamentalist Christianity and separation from the world
• The loss of belonging that often comes with changing your mind
• Fear as a tool of control, and how it shapes identity and behaviour
• Deconstruction, grief, and the “death of a dream”
• Rebuilding faith, values, and community without fear
• Choosing compassion over certainty

About Brian Recker

Brian Recker is a writer, speaker, and public theologian exploring Christian spirituality beyond fear, shame, and exclusion. He spent eight years as an evangelical pastor before stepping away to re-examine faith, power, and belonging through a more humane and inclusive lens.

Brian is the author of Hell Bent: How the Fear of Hell Holds Christians Back from a Spirituality of Love, and shares his work online through writing, teaching, and community conversations focused on deconstruction, compassion, and change.

Links & resources

Brian on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/berecker/

Brian’s website: https://www.brianrecker.com/

Hell Bent by Brian Recker (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3Zt4LGy

About the podcast

12 Steps to Success is a podcast about what happens when the path you were on stops making sense.

Hosted by Eric Mackay, the show centres on honest conversations with people navigating change, pressure, identity shifts, recovery, and redefinition. These are not success stories or instruction manuals, but real conversations about how people live inside uncertainty and keep moving without false certainty.

Stay connected

Website: https://twelvestepstosuccess.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/twelvestepstosuccess