When One Partner Won't Engage: Now What?
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When One Partner Won't Engage: Now What?
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What do you do when one partner simply won’t engage in couples therapy?
They say “I don’t know” to every question. They shut down when emotions come up. They blame their partner for everything. Or they’re physically present in the room, but emotionally somewhere else.
For therapists, this can be one of the most challenging dynamics to navigate. Is the client resistant — or are they protecting themselves? Are they overwhelmed, ashamed, burnt out, ambivalent, or simply unwilling to participate?
In this therapist-facing episode of Just Listen To Me, Julia explores how to look beyond apparent non-engagement, track what happens in the couple’s cycle, and avoid becoming another pursuer in the room.
We’ll also look at when individual work or a pause may be more appropriate — and when we need to ask the bigger question: Is couples therapy actually appropriate here?
Because the goal isn't to make someone engage.
It’s to understand what their non-engagement is telling us — and what this couple needs from us as therapists.