“A” kicks off the episode 16 with a second-trimester update and how she’s prepping for baby life—Little A is destined to be a bookworm, whether they like it or not.

Then we rewind and get into breakups… the messy, formative, occasionally unhinged kind.

“A” shares the story of her ex-boyfriend—an addict she met under chaotic circumstances (he literally couldn’t find his car). What followed was a whirlwind relationship that ended in absolute flames… including a dramatic almost-takeoff on a plane where he very much was not in the seat next to her.

Leaning into her belief in signs from the universe, “A” channeled that breakup energy into self-discovery—finding witchcraft, writing her own (very unofficial) thesis on it, and ultimately focusing on herself… which is exactly what led her to the right partner.

“J” brings us into her time at Brigham Young University, where the unofficial curriculum felt less about education and more about finding a husband and becoming the “perfect” Mormon wife.

And through all the heartbreak, there was one universal coping mechanism: rewatching the volleyball scene from Top Gun. Because somehow, despite being one of the sweatiest, most intense beach scenes ever filmed… they’re out there playing in jeans. And belts. Fully committed to the game and questionable wardrobe choices—and honestly, that level of confidence became its own kind of therapy.

AJ and AJ compare the wildly different ways they were raised.

“J” talks about growing up extremely sheltered—so sheltered that when she had to choose a song for a rally in high school, she picked one without realizing what the phrase “midnight toker” meant. Her innocent mistake unexpectedly gave her a kind of credibility at school she’d never had before.

“A”, on the other hand, had the opposite experience. Raised by hippie parents who believed in never shielding their child from the truth, she was exposed to things far earlier than most kids—including watching A Clockwork Orange at just five years old. She shares how overwhelming that experience was, and how she escaped into Roald Dahl books to cope with the fear it left behind.

Two AJs, two completely different childhood philosophies—one episode about how those early experiences shaped who they became.

In this episode, AJ and AJ dive into the magical, chaotic world of high school theater—the place where many self-proclaimed theater nerds first found their people.

"A" kicks things off by sharing how performing in Bye Bye Birdie helped her discover two important things: her love for acting and the kind of friendships that stick around long after the final curtain call (and yes, she’s still close with one of those friends today).

"J" reminisces about her time in Mother Hicks, where cast bonding, backstage chaos, and extremely memorable inside jokes were the norm—including a running joke about a friend’s crush that somehow refuses to die to this day.

Together, they reflect on how trying something new—like theater—can lead to discovering passions, confidence, and a whole community of wonderfully weird people. Their advice to listeners? Go try that random class, club, or hobby you’ve been curious about. Worst case scenario: you get a funny story. Best case: you find your people.

This week, AJ and AJ get honest about advocating for your own needs in relationships. “J” unpacks how hard it has been to ask for help — even from her husband of 18 years. From lying sick on the floor but still struggling to say “I need you,” she recognizes the codependent habit of keeping score: doing good deeds in the quiet hope that someone will notice and reciprocate without being asked.

"J" connected deeply with the main character in Love, Theoretically — someone who twists herself into whatever shape the person in front of her wants. J shares how she recognized that pattern in herself, how she’s been breaking it, and what it looks like now to speak up in the moment instead of silently keeping tabs.

“A“ talks about how her ex’s addictions chipped away at her confidence until she felt completely hideous and unwanted. But one drive, one album (AM), and one song (“Arabella”) flipped the switch. She had a break through. She was not that old! She was hot! She was not the problem. And it was time to get busy.

AJ and AJ talk about growing up in families where cutting the tension wasn’t optional — it was survival. They unpack what it meant to walk on eggshells in their families of origin and the roles they learned to play to keep the peace.

“A” shares how she became the family tension diffuser, quoting The Simpsons at just the right moment to break the pressure in the room — unknowingly sharpening her talent for voices and impressions in the process.

“J“ reflects on the last time her entire family was together, when a Christmas fondue party spiraled into an all-out brawl. While chaos unfolded downstairs — in a completely non-alcoholic Mormon holiday gathering that ultimately ended with the police being called — she distracted the kids upstairs with The Little Mermaid, using storytelling as a shield against the shouting and physical fight happening below.

In this week’s episode of What’s Your Damage?, AJ and AJ dive into their very different sexual awakening moments — and let’s just say, the vibes were not the same.

“J“ spills about her lifelong devotion to Christian Bale (yes, even factoring in the infamous on-set rant) and how her love story really began with the Newsies. Something about scrappy newsboys in suspenders and fireman-adjacent outfits? Formative. She breaks down her very wholesome, theater-kid-coded awakening — complete with elaborate fantasies about various newsboys.

Meanwhile, “A”s awakening was… significantly less subtle. She recounts watching the wildly explicit Cruel Intentions and having absolutely no buffer between innocence and full-blown sexual tension. Where “J” had musical numbers and yearning glances, “A” had spit filled make outs, dramatic virginity plot lines, and the undeniable power of Sarah Michelle Gellar in peak ’90s villain mode.

Two awakenings. One podcast. Endless damage.

In episode 10 of What’s Your Damage?, AJ and AJ talk about the deep desire to escape into a different family. Growing up in traumatic family systems shaped how both of them turned to art—TV, books, and stories—as a way to survive the painful reality of their home lives.

“A” is 13 weeks pregnant at this point and reflects on her childhood, where the TV was always on. As a kid, she escaped into Full House, fantasizing about Danny Tanner as her father—someone safe and kind, who wouldn’t call her the C word just for wanting to watch Friends.

“J”, meanwhile, time-travels all the way back to 1868, fantasizing about being a member of the March family. (Let’s be honest—she was absolutely a Jo, the ultimate feminist icon.) The March family was shockingly progressive for 1868—which somehow made them feel more evolved than J’s strict Mormon household in the 1980s. She longed for the kind of sisterhood the March girls shared, something she wished she could have had with any of her sisters—though it hurt most that her closest sister was also her abuser.

AJ and AJ kick off Episode 9 with the choice of a generation: Edward Cullen or Jacob Black? From there, they dive headfirst into the teenage experience — from Levi Lovin’, (dry humping), going to parties, and the longing to be seen and find love and possibly made over!

“J” talks about Can’t Hardly Wait and how, thanks to a strict Mormon upbringing (and the whole “appearance of evil” thing), she was never going to parties or drinking in high school. Instead, she lived vicariously through the characters on screen — experiencing the chaos, romance, and freedom secondhand. And ultimately became the life of the party!

“A“ shares she was not the cool girl in high school, (she was in the recycling club). She longed for a love that saw her deeply past her nerdy exterior. So she escaped into She’s All That, where a simple makeover turned a geek from invisible to suddenly being stared at by a guy with a jawline that could cut glass. If only that was her experience.