Warm sesame oil with cloves rubbed into the hands and feet,

points of contact with form, with the Earth,

Warm sesame oil with cloves rubbed into the top of the head,

point of contact with the sky,

press then rub, press then rub, sensuality of longing,

longing for the daughter that I just left

Dakini angels of the La, hooking back the life force,

from the up and down and the eight Cardinal directions,

long life Arrow with ribbons of the five colors and five elements,

we retrieve my umbilical cord from the star where I left it,

the star the fetus chose, instead of the womb

of my beloved mother of flesh and blood,

her terrible suffering too disturbing.

We retrieve the leaking energies from the disempowered

thought forms of the Astral realms, Gathering back parts

of my heart and soul from people, places and things, like horcruxes, not dissipated through curses and evil intent,

but through the breaking apart of self

through trauma I could not bear. My dakini angel helpers

arise from the union in my heart,

hayagriva and vajravarahi,

the Christ and his bride, that would be me.

we retrieve parts of myself back from my lover‘s body,

his armpit, his beard and that spot inside his groin

that I like to smell. It is painful, but they’re just confused attachments, death of one kind but not the other

Awareness in its essence has never existed

as anything whatsoever

and thus entails no proliferation or resolution,

it is consciousness settled in its own place...