Our sons Shootar and Stabbar that we got from the sperm bank tricked us into eating a candy called Wiener Zucker and saying it was good so we brought them back. Barstool Milking Factory on a Kindle Fire is the new Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Dr Witnesser is right about Christmas but wrong about Saturday. We need to find Amara and find out what it is as well

🎼Big Sean - A$$ ft Nicki Minaj

https://www.patreon.com/posts/142523645

Everyone from a GIF will be live in person at a convention center once we figure out how to rent it. Gore-themed birthday parties go crazy but the ARG is too hard. Dark triad style individuals such as Andrew Milonakis are leaving out poisoned cat poop for the neighborhood dogs to ensure that they never become the Jodie Foster in someone's Taxi Driver fantasy. Arby's meat nuggets are pretty good but later in the bathroom it might be a four-tiki-torcher plus a fire pit and a Febreze cloud that gets ignited. The guy in The Terminal was so lucky until he got turned into CGI and had to drive a Christmas train. China has a skeleton law and Perm is by the Urals.

On this one we teach you about ambassadors and how to gaslight a cop and convince him he has BPD so you can evade a ticket for selling loose handfuls of Reese's Pieces in an alleyway. My aunt is Egyptian and she has a cat for a head and she makes me chop cheese the aunkhy way. At the McDonald's in Times Square they have passenger pigeon nuggets to save money because you can buy passenger pigeons on Klarna. McDonald's is spiritually Israeli.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/141531385

Where did you go Joe DiMaio? And Katt Stevens, whatever happened to him after he gave up secular music and started performing on BET ComicView? Peanut oil vapes come in handy when you need to ensure your child never develops a peanut allergy that excludes them from dinner at a Norwegian style household. Dog oil works on the same principle. Travis Kelce is going to be in the new Hennessy ad campaign dressed like Cole Campbell

Everywhere you look all you see is Labubus and Dubai chocolate and when you try to get an education at a reputable Boston school the janitor just writes some nonsense about how you dubaidubai the legs and multiply the fun on the board. Go to Mar-a-Lago and tell them you want the whackmodololo longdubaidubai magicjohnson minthoneyhoney badbunny labubu or the Big Game Halftime Show is cancelled

https://www.patreon.com/posts/140628026

Baseball stadiums frown upon using the nicest pumpkin you ever felt to catch a baseball even if you have a Trump Card and Pete Hegseth is busy doing Edward Fortyhands on his lunch break. There is a restaurant where they serve poop but the guy never lets you have it. Chihuahuas are small but Great Danes are big. Durango is Spanish for The Range

Season 4 of Doug was weird because they did the Martin Lawrence arc and half of it was about Didi getting bred and his name was Caillou but they made him look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. Jay-Z clearly never saw Squid Game or Get Out in 2010 or he would have mentioned Young Hee

https://www.patreon.com/posts/139589436

Sir you cannot pass the HOA vibe check until you find the Ziggy Marley station on SiriusXM and to be perfectly honest you should have it in your first bank of presets. Check out ThinkGeek for geeky gifts for the geek in your life like an air freshener shaped like a foot that smells like feet or an air freshener shaped like a poop that smells like poop. Next year 9/11 is going to fall on the 13th