Even the wealthiest families can be unprepared for their own complexity. Most advisors aren’t trained to handle what matters most: communication, culture, and preparing the next generation for leadership.

In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) is joined by Mark Tepsich, co-author of the UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report. Mark and Alex dive into what governance really looks like for families averaging $2.4 billion in net worth and why many of the biggest lessons apply to families at any asset level. Their conversation goes far beyond documents, highlighting how culture—shared norms and values—shapes both continuity and risk.

They unpack the realities behind family constitutions, non-financial meetings, and family retreats, examining practical ways advisors can help clients strengthen alignment and connection. Mark shares why the highest payoff comes from face-to-face connection, how advisors can get over hesitation to lead these conversations, and why integrating the rising generation early is essential for legacy and trust.

This episode is a guide for advisors ready to see legacy as a lived, evolving process, not just a set of documents. It urges a move from portfolio talk to family engagement and challenges advisors to expand their comfort zone for deeper, longer-lasting relationships.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why the process of creating a family constitution is more valuable than the final document
• How highly intentional families keep governance relevant as family structures shift
• What non-financial family meetings look like—and why most families don’t have them
• Practical approaches for running meetings and retreats that build family connection
• How advisors can facilitate (or encourage) non-financial conversations, even without outside specialists
• The central role of culture, communication, and ongoing review in successful governance
• Why integrating the rising generation early leads to stronger stewardship and trust
• Ways to move beyond “financial capital” to include values, rituals, and family well-being

Notable Quotes from Mark Tepsich

“It all comes down to how are you preparing the next generation to navigate that enterprise. Which is really people-centric.”

“The value add is that process of talking about that stuff, of spending the time and actually memorializing it.”

“You don’t have to have a 400-page family constitution. In fact, I would say you shouldn’t, because you’re not going to know what’s in there.”

“Culture is our shared norms, which is how we do things, and our shared values.”

“If you freeze it, that means you can’t adapt as a family. And there’s one thing about a family since the beginning of time — you n

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Legacy letters give families the words that outlast any estate plan. Blake Brewer, founder of the Legacy Letter Challenge, joins Alex Kirby to show how wealth advisors can make this practice standard for every HNW client without it feeling heavy or hard to start. If legacy conversations are missing from your client relationships, this is the episode that changes that.

Death can come shockingly fast — and with it, a flood of things left unsaid. All the planning in the world means little if families never hear the words that matter most.

In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) welcomes Blake Brewer, founder of the Legacy Letter Challenge, an organization striving to help 1 million people write at least one Legacy Letter. Blake’s story began with a life-changing letter from his father after a sudden loss at age 19. Today, he helps families and advisors shift from intention to action, sharing what makes a letter truly meaningful and how to move past the common barriers that keep most from ever writing one.

Drawing from personal experience and decades of coaching, Blake breaks down the emotional and practical sides of legacy work: the value of apology and vulnerability, why timing matters less than getting started, and how simple frameworks can help families connect and preserve wisdom across generations. At Total Family, we see Legacy Letters as essential to legacy—captured, stored, and shared in our software so they remain accessible and meaningful for years to come.

This episode offers advisors concrete strategies to move legacy planning beyond documents, building deeper trust and lasting impact.

What You’ll Learn

• Why most people never write a legacy letter, and what moves them to act
• How apology and vulnerability can reshape family relationships
• A step-by-step framework for guiding clients through their first letter
• Why starting matters more than timing or format
• How letters build trust and retention across generations after a loss
• Why advisors are best placed to turn legacy into action

Notable Quotes from Blake Brewer

“I can’t imagine my life without this letter. In the coming days and weeks and months, I never experienced more pain and grief in my life. And my life could have gone a lot of different ways... It was the exact opposite.”

“I believe everyone has a legacy letter in their heart, but getting it from your heart to your mind and then to a piece of paper — easier said than done.”

“The stories didn’t match up. And so this legacy letter is about getting the story right, like leaving nothing out. No, this is how I feel about you.”

Resources

• Legacy Letter Challenge
(https://www.legacyletter.com/)

• Total Family
(https://totalfamily.io)

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We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations.
Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube

Wealth that isn’t lived as wellbeing is a tragedy—one advisors help write unless they change the story.

On this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder, Total Family) is joined by James E. Hughes, who has shaped how the profession thinks about multigenerational wealth. Jay challenges advisors to look past balance sheets, exploring why “wealth” must mean family flourishing, not just the sum of assets.

Together, they tackle the problem of sterile planning versus the lived, dynamic “play” of family life. They examine why words matter, the hidden cost of secrecy around money, and how family meetings can either foster connection or leave heirs disengaged. Hughes’s framework—anchored in the Five Forms of Capital—offers a blueprint for helping families grow in ways that numbers alone can’t capture.

Advisors will come away with a practical lens for running better family meetings, engaging rising generations, and building trust that endures beyond a liquidity event or loss.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why redefining “wealth” as wellbeing transforms your client relationships
• The power of language in legacy work - especially with the rising generation
• What families lose when money is a secret
• How to use stories (even failures) to foster resilience and belonging
• Why most family plans fall short, and how to shift toward “plays”
• Steps for structuring family meetings that actually support human capital

Notable Quotes from James E. Hughes

“The word wealth…meant well-being. It has never meant anything but that.”

“Humans don't live in plans, they live in plays. The problem of plans is they're sterile.”

“The purpose of a meeting, any meeting of a family, is to grow its spiritual, social, intellectual, and human self…”

Resources

• Complete Family Wealth, by James E. Hughes
• Where Are All the Customers' Yachts?
• Total Family

Send us feedback

Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor
We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations.
Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on You

Send us feedback

Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor
We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations.
Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube