In startup land, everyone acts like hiring’s a cheat code… “just add a rockstar!” But what if that rockstar needs a brief for everything, tanks morale, or burns $280K on vaporware?

In Episode 5 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed discuss the hiring disasters that don’t make it to TechCrunch, from corporate dinosaurs who can’t function without minions to vibe hires who vanish before onboarding.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why early-stage hiring is high-stakes and emotionally loaded
✅ The common bad hire archetypes that will quietly (or loudly) kill your company
✅ Red flag checklists to spot bad fits before they destroy your culture
✅ When to hire, when to fire, and how to test-drive before you commit

Hot Takes:
✅ “If you keep hiring for tenure over trajectory, you will become the very thing you set out to disrupt.”
✅ “You need to think about hiring as a fiscally responsible decision.”

Grab your popcorn (and maybe your severance template), because this one’s loaded with red flags, cut-worthy hires, and savage founder truths that'll save your runway from going up in flames.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

In the startup world, everyone preaches “fake it till you make it”. But what happens when faking it goes too far? Are you a bold founder hustling to realize a big vision, or a fraudster selling pipe dreams and ending up in handcuffs?

In Episode 4 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed pull back the curtain on the dark side of startup hustle – when “fake it till you make it” turns into outright fraud. They swap war stories of con artists in the boardroom, from fake user accounts and phantom revenue to corporate espionage straight out of a spy thriller.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why startup culture’s obsession with unicorn status pushes founders to flirt with fraud (and sometimes marry it)
✅ Unicorn Hall of Shame
✅ Common lies founders love to tell (until they can't)
✅ Red flag checklists for founders, investors, and employees to spot BS before it blows up
✅ Frameworks for ethical “fake it till you make it”

Hot Takes:
✅ "You don’t need to lie, you can fake it ethically with Wizard of Oz MVP or no-code."
✅ "Don’t be enamored by fraudsters. That quick win can become the fastest path to jail."

Grab your popcorn (and maybe a notepad), because this one’s full of 🚀memes, spicy insights, and hard-earned lessons for anyone in startup land.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

Is venture capital the fuel behind world-changing innovation…or just a glorified pyramid scheme where everyone’s pretending they’re building the next Uber while actually praying for a higher valuation before the money runs out?
In this spicy episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed expose how the game is played — founders chasing funding like junkies, markups for AI buzzwords duct-taped to a landing page, unicorn markdowns like it’s Black Friday, and accelerators slapping lipstick on broken products for Demo Day.

Highlights:

• Why VC math makes founders lie to themselves (and investors)
• The dark side of accelerators, demo days, and “investor theater”
• The billion-dollar valuation addiction—and who’s really winning
• The culture of secondary exits, fake wins, and quiet shutdowns
• What happens when the market corrects and the music stops

Hot Takes:

• “A startup that needs constant funding to survive isn’t building... It’s bleeding.”
• “More startups die of indigestion than starvation.”
  
  

If you’re tired of the startup smoke and mirrors, this episode is your wake-up call, and your laugh track.

Listen now. Laugh hard. Think twice. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

Startups are messy. But cofounder relationships? Even messier. In this brutally honest episode of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed dive into the raw, real, and often ridiculous world of cofounder dynamics—from love stories gone wrong to business partnerships built on shaky foundations.

They read founder DMs and dissect juicy, anonymized tales of startup breakups, equity disputes, silent resentment, power struggles, and control freaks who hoard all the glory. Nothing is off-limits.

Whether your cofounder is your best friend, life partner, or someone you met at a hackathon, this episode will either save your relationship or confirm that it’s time to walk away.

Highlights:

• The equity conversation you’re avoiding (but must have ASAP)
• How to vet a technical cofounder before giving up your cap table
• Real stories: cofounder ghosting, solo resentment, side gigs, and betrayal
• Who should be CEO (Hint: it’s not the one who bought the domain)
• Managing burnout, power dynamics, and communication breakdowns

Hot takes:

• “Cofounder breakups make divorces look polite. Paper it before the kumbaya fades.”
• “You don’t need chemistry. You need someone who answers emails and doesn’t ghost on deadline day.”
• “Most cofounder drama starts with unclear roles and ends with legal fees.”

If you’re carrying the company and they’re carrying their ego… this episode might save your sanity (and your cap table).

Listen. Cringe. Reflect. Maybe renegotiate your equity split.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

Welcome to the very first episode of UnicornPrn, the only podcast that peels back the glossy veneer of startup life and roasts it over a flaming pile of pitch decks.

Hosted by Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo, two founder friends who’ve seen the startup world from the inside out, upside down, and on fire… we’re here to talk about what it’s actually like to build a company (spoiler: it’s not all oat milk lattes and billion-dollar exits).

In this episode, we dive into the unicorn myth — how it hijacked founders’ brains, turned venture capital into a fix more addictive than doomscrolling, and what no one tells you before you sign that first term sheet and trade your sanity (and maybe your weekends, your marriage, and your gut health).

Highlights:

• How chasing unicorns became a socially acceptable addiction
• Our own founder delusions, burnout, and near-glorious meltdowns
• Why fundraising is a lifestyle trap disguised as ambition
• The brutal math of dilution, valuation, and exits
• What real success looks like—spoiler: it’s not always on TechCrunch

Hot Takes:

• “If you need a $100M raise to feel worthy, therapy’s cheaper.”
• “VC money gives you runway and a front-row seat to everyone else’s expectations.”
• “Think you’re the player, but don’t know the rules? You’re the entertainment.”

If your days are spent pitching, posting, and pretending everything’s fine... you’re not alone.

Listen. Question. Reflect. Rethink.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

UnicornPrn is the only podcast that peels back the glossy veneer of startup life and roasts it over a flaming pile of pitch decks 🔥

Hosted by Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo, two founder friends who’ve seen the startup world from the inside out, upside down, and on fire. This show dives into what it’s actually like to build a company (spoiler: it’s not all oat milk lattes and billion-dollar exits).

We riff about all the things you wish you could say out loud but can’t (or won’t) — like investor horror stories, founder mistakes, and bloated valuations.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...