What happens when you have to parent without a map? In this deeply moving and relational conversation, we sit down with care-experienced mum, kinship carer, and Churchill Fellow Terri-Anne Harmer to explore the complexities of raising a family while carrying the lifelong impacts of trauma and the care system.

For many care-experienced parents, the journey of raising children is often shadowed by a "blueprint of fear" - a fear of systems, surveillance, and the terrifying possibility of child removal. This episode breaks the silence on the "invisible" pressures these parents face, moving away from deficit-based narratives to focus on healing, accountability, and the power of community.

Building the Village We Never Had

Terri-Anne shares her personal and professional journey, offering a unique perspective on breaking intergenerational cycles and reclaiming the narrative of care-experienced parenting. We discuss:

• Parenting Through Fear: How trauma responses are frequently misinterpreted as “risk” by professionals, and the need to look beneath behaviour to understand the survival and overwhelm sitting underneath.
• The Power of Connection: The vital role of peer support and relational spaces in helping parents feel genuinely heard, understood, and empowered.
• A New Blueprint: Insights from Terri-Anne’s Churchill Fellowship, exploring how village-based approaches and community advocacy can interrupt cycles of removal and support families of all ages.

Breaking the Cycle of Trauma

Within the conversation, we reflect on the emotional labour of parenting while healing. We consider how childhood histories shape adult relationships, including:

• Neurodiversity and Masking: The intersection of trauma and late-recognition neurodiversity in adulthood.
• Shame and Repair: Navigating vulnerability and accountability within family relationships to foster long-term healing.
• Systemic Change: Why professionals must adopt a trauma-informed lens to support care-experienced families effectively and move toward trust-based practice.

This episode offers a powerful invitation to consider what becomes possible when we move beyond survival and build something different—together.

In This Episode, We Explore

• Parenting while carrying long-term trauma impacts.
• The fear of systems, surveillance, and child removal.
• Healing while raising children and "building a village."
• Neurodiversity, masking, and intergenerational cycles.
• Why professionals need to look beneath behaviour.

Guest: Terri-Anne Harmer Terri-Anne is a care-experienced mum, kinship carer, practitioner, and Churchill Fellow. Alongside her work with the Care Leavers Association, she supports care-experienced adults through community spaces that centre connection and empowerment.

Key Quotes

• “We’re building the village that we didn’t have when we were younger.”
• “Behaviour is not always the thing. What’s underneath it is what’s important.”
• “You can break the cycle.”

Content Note This episode discusses childhood trauma, care experience, parenting, mental health, neurodiversity, child protection processes, family separation, and systemic responses to care-experienced families. Please listen in a way that feels safe for you.

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Episode Description

In this episode of Trauma Informed Conversations, host Jessica Parker welcomes teacher, coach, and author Emma Kell. Drawing on 27 years of classroom experience and her recent book, Real Lives of Teachers, Emma explores the psychological landscape of the teaching profession today.

Moving beyond superficial wellbeing advice, Jess and Emma discuss the concept of moral injury and "compassion stress" - the emotional toll of working within a system that often feels like it is "never enough". They delve into the power of self-efficacy, the necessity of radical appreciation, and how school leaders can foster psychological safety through clear boundaries and transparent communication. This conversation is a vital check-in for any educator or leader navigating the "highs and lows" of the modern school environment.

Key Takeaways

• Wellbeing as Self-Efficacy: Real wellbeing in education isn't about "hot baths"; it is the feeling of making a tangible difference in a child’s life, often measured in smiles and small glimmers of progress.
• The Weight of Moral Injury: Many teachers face a "compassion stress injury" when their values and hard work collide with a system lacking resources and funding.
• Clarity as Psychological Safety: Emma highlights how "perfectionist" clarity in school policies and expectations creates a contained, safe environment for staff to thrive.
• Modelling for Leaders: School leaders are among the most vulnerable to burnout; modelling healthy boundaries—such as respecting "out of office" emails - is essential for a sustainable school culture.
• Stubborn Optimism: Despite systemic challenges, maintaining a sense of "relentless optimism" and celebrating "blossoms" (positive moments) helps educators remain resilient.

Resources Mentioned

• Real Lives of Teachers: Navigating the Highs and Lows of Schools Today by Emma Kell. Available on Amazon.
• Those That Can: Visit www.those-that-can.com for more information on Emma’s coaching and wellbeing facilitation.
• Trauma Informed Consultancy Services (TICS): Visit www.ticservicesltd.com to access live training events, further information on trauma-informed practice, and to contact the team for support.

Guest

Emma Kell is a teacher, coach, and speaker with over 27 years of experience in the classroom. She currently teaches in alternative provision and provides coaching and facilitation on teacher wellbeing, school culture, and communication. Emma is a passionate advocate for the profession, focusing on what helps teachers "survive and thrive" in the modern educational landscape.

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Trauma Informed Conversations, host Jessica Parker is joined by integrative therapist Louise Brooks. As a physically disabled therapist, Louise brings both professional expertise and lived experience to a vital but often overlooked topic: Medical Trauma.

Moving beyond clinical definitions, Jess and Louise explore the cumulative impact of "medical gaslighting" - the exhausting experience of not being believed or having symptoms dismissed by professionals. They discuss how these interactions can create a cycle of shame and anxiety, transforming necessary healthcare into a source of psychological distress. The conversation shifts the focus toward disability-affirmative practice, emphasising how validation and small systemic shifts can restore a sense of safety for patients.

Key Takeaways

• The Weight of Medical Gaslighting: Medical trauma often stems from being told symptoms are "all in your head". This lack of belief can lead to physical trauma responses like nausea, breathlessness, and heart palpitations before future appointments.
• The Burden of Explanation: Many disabled people spend entire therapy or medical sessions explaining their condition. Louise highlights the importance of professionals doing independent research to reduce this "retraumatising" labour for the client.
• Practical Systemic Shifts: Small changes, such as offering double appointments as standard, can provide the extra time needed for cognitive processing or physical transfers, making care truly accessible.
• Disability-Affirmative Therapy: Finding a therapist who is "disability affirmative" means working with someone who understands the social and systemic barriers disabled people face, rather than viewing the disability as something to be "fixed".
• "Not Disabled Yet": A poignant reminder that accessibility is a community responsibility. Whether through physical access or inclusive language, creating safe environments benefits everyone - because many people are simply "not disabled yet".

Resources Mentioned

• Trauma Informed Consultancy Services (TICS): Visit www.ticservicesltd.com to access live training events, further information on trauma-informed practice, and to contact the team for support.
• Disability-Affirmative Resources:
  • Louise's Challenging Ableism CPD Session (11th April 2026)
  • Emotional Respite (Charity)
  • Spokz People - Modules to support people wanting to learn more and an online community for disabled people to join.

Guest

Louise Brooks is an integrative therapist in private practice, specialising in working with physically disabled and neurodivergent clients. Working exclusively online for inclusivity and access, Louise incorporates person-centered therapy, attachment theory, and compassion-focused approaches into her trauma-informed work. As a disabled practitioner, she is a passionate advocate for disability-affirmative care and challenging the ableist structures within the medical and therapeutic fields.

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