Michelle sits down with menopause doula Traci Thrash (The Change Doula) for a wide-ranging, no-filter conversation about perimenopause brain fog, what pleasure actually means outside of sex, the asexual/demisexual spectrum, the Wheel of Consent, autonomy in long-term relationships, and the HRT and lifestyle tools they swear by.

Traci is a menopause doula based outside Madison, Wisconsin. She supports women in perimenopause, menopause, and midlife through 1:1 work and group programs, focusing on connection and community as much as education. Find her at https://www.thechangedoulas.com/.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

• What a "menopause doula" actually does

• Why community — not just information — is what people are craving in midlife

• Redefining "pleasure" and "desire" as words that don't have to mean sex

• Soft Cock Week and reframing what counts as a "real" sexual experience

• Michelle's story of realizing she's asexual/gray-sexual at 47

• Demisexuality, gray-sexual, and "nebulosexual" — labels that helped both of them make sense of their experiences

• The Wheel of Consent and why receiving a genuine "no" can be the deepest form of intimacy

• Autonomy, relationship anarchy, and not needing total overlap with a partner

• The "rope widow" season — staying close while pursuing very different interests

• Why empowerment narratives for older women default to sex, and what's missing from that picture

• HRT journeys, finding a doctor who actually listens, and favorite midlife self-care finds

  
  

  Resources & Mentions

• Wheel of Consent framework (Betty Martin)

• Estrogen Matters — book on HRT and breast cancer risk

• The Slow Moon Climbs by Susan P. Mattern — anthropological look at menopause

• MIDI Health — telehealth HRT provider

• Vulva Balm by Medicine Mama — for labial/vulvar dryness

• Fiber gummies (Metamucil, Miralax-style) for midlife gut health

• Dual-zone heated mattress pad — relationship-saving bedroom hack

  
  

  If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

  
  

  To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

  
  

  Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off