Episode transcript:

Western Toilet was a guy with a YouTube channel. Linda watched the video over Squatty Potty’s shoulder.

“I take my name from his example, and I take my life from his teachings,” he said.

He said it with a smile, but it didn’t seem like he was joking.

Linda watched with interest — if anything could make this house full of boyish chaos come to a stand-still, it must be something. But a lot of it didn’t connect. She couldn’t tell if this Western Toilet was referencing obscure concepts that she didn’t understand or just making shit up. Linda was inclined to suspect the latter, but she felt that saying so might hurt Squatty’s feelings, and more than anything she didn’t want to do that. They guys, they all loved it.

After they each watched it on their own, they came back into the living room to discuss. Some of them had even made notes. This video’s theme was maybe “The value of liars in a healthy society” or “the freedom afforded by denying an objective truth.” There was some debate about this. At times, the analysis went frame-by-frame.

“Check out this guy’s expression in the background. He’s oblivious, and then … bam! He’s heard the news.”

It wasn’t all the Zapruder film, though. Some of the guys, while fully enthusiastic and present,

engaged in some side-chatter that was less than serious, and Linda could see a boy called Adrian sketching on a small pad. She shifted in her seat to get a better view. He was penciling out a scene of some snakes at a garden party. Each one had their tail twisted up in different geometric shapes. Adrian noticed Linda watching, and waved her over.

“These discussions can get pretty left-brained,” he said in a low voice. “I kind of prefer to let the feeling wash over me while I find my own meaning.”

Linda nodded in agreement. The vibe was the thing.

“There’s plenty of Western Toilet theories to go around,” he said. “But why don’t I show you some of the old zines? I think you might connect with that more.”

Adrian led Linda around to various piles and pulled out some issues to show her. He pointed out various collages and illustrations and other pieces that felt, for lack of a better word, very media-y.

“So are you all artists?” She asked.

Adrian shrugged. “Isn’t everyone?”

“Not me,” said Linda.

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short.”

Linda asked if the zine was their job, or what.

Adrian explained that while they all had what you’d call a “day job,” really, everyone’s job was living a good life.

“And what is a good life?” asked Linda.

“Well, that’s your ultimate job to decide,” said Adrian. “You know, according to Western Toilet.” He winked.

At the end of the — session? Or whatever it was — Linda wasn’t sure quite what this whole thing was — Squatty and the boys in this art-strewn apartment with their video guru. Adrian even said that they suspected Western Toilet lived here in town and sometimes they’d go look for him. “You should come next time.”

But she had to admit that she had had a nice afternoon. It was nice to be listened to and feel a part of something. Squatty was a little disappointed that Linda wasn’t quite as taken with Dub-T as he’d hoped. But he was confident she just needed a way in. “I’ll make you a playlist,” he said. “He’s the reason we’re all here, but I know it can take the right entryway to let him in.”

After such excitement, Squatty declared it no one’s night to cook, and the guys were all going to go out for Dan Dan noodles and beers. Many, many beers. Maybe some dancing later.

Would Linda like to join?

Linda demurred for now. She needed to go home and digest all of this resistance. Plus, she wanted to get started on her personal essay for the zine.

“That’s all for the best,” said Squatty. “We don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for. You need to come to your own conclusions on your own journey.”

“Is this a cult?” asked Linda.

The boys laughed. “We’re the opposite of a cult,” said Adrian, brightly. “We’re a brotherhood.”

He said it like that wasn’t worse, but Linda smiled. “Well … toilet on, brothers. I’m going home.”

“Toilet on … I like that,” said Squatty.

Keep up with us on YouTube and Patreon.