Meet Frank - he's a scouse stickler, what DID happen in Epping, and the odd ways of doing things in an alien library.

Animals and music, Donna Kebab's gone all Jane Austen and Johnny Detail's potty mouth gets him into trouble.

Percy's off to Romford to look at toys, the miracle of Smooth Terry's eyebrows and the toothless Ninja needs to get into town.

Sharon's still not in Japan, the man from Carolina has good chat, a mystery hat appears and Johnny Detail's stuck on 'sorry' mode.

Spies in the Children's Library, Donna Kebab's Christmas list, the car crash couple and library love in the swinging 60s.

Mad facts from the Sheik, update on Sandra's holiday to Japan, and introducing dodgy Donna Kebab.

Smooth Terry investigates swearing, Percy Perkins and his organ issues and the ancient lovers all come in to the House of Books today.

Smiler enters to write his dystopian novel, one customer threw his keys out of his flat's window and then gets locked out - the library to the rescue! And no coins in Iran?