Ioco is back to help G and Shannon read the epic fail epilogue of Eclipse! It’s a good thing the chapter is called “Choice,” because they’re questioning all of Stephenie’s. After listener emails and donut show-and-tell, it’s time to check in with Jacob’s latest L’s, take a vampire calligraphy class, and read Smeyer’s canon femslash. Just don’t forget to stan Leah Clearwater for clear skin!

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It’s the final chapter of Eclipse (not counting the epilogue), and Lilia joins G and Shannon for some wedding planning! But first, cry along with Bella. And then cry some more. And some more (Edward is about to be SO fed.) Also featured: Shannon’s new prop and old dad, an in-universe Bella’s Book Club, and Edward’s… slut era?? It’s all here at the all-you-can-slurp tear buffet!

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Sunshine returns from fighting fires to focus on what’s really important: supporting G and Shannon through the breakup in Eclipse chapter 26. But first, a post-mortem recap of Stephenie Meyer’s 9/11 Q&A! Then it’s time for Bible study (dead baby edition), the return of the Fujo Hat, murmurmaxxing, and an absolutely cursed Renesmegg moment. Grab your gavels, because it’s time to dump your side piece in a God-honoring way!

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