What would Jesus drink? According to a growing shelf of American energy drinks, the answer is something with a crown of thorns on the can and a Bible verse on the back.

This week we get into the strange new world of Christian energy drinks. There's Yahweh, with a picture of Christ and the tagline "Take Him Anywhere." There's Agape and its Preachin' Peach, 4GVN with a flavor literally called Gospel Gummy, and Praise Energy, complete with a cartoon mascot named Zion the Lion. We pulled the thread from there and found Christian protein powder, Holy Locust snack bars, hot sauce, beard oil, dog collars, ammunition boxes, and yes, scripture toilet paper. The list does not stop.

Underneath the jokes there's a real question. When a company prints a Bible verse on a product and calls that its ministry, who is actually being reached? We talk about why none of these drinks seem to fund anything beyond brand awareness, why the only people buying a Jesus energy drink are people who already believe, and how "God told me to do it" became the most reliable business plan in the country. We also get into Christian music's grift era, the Marjoe documentary, Byron Donalds finding Jesus in a Cracker Barrel parking lot, and what Gallup's church attendance numbers might have to do with all of it.

Plus a Miko and Berger update at the end, because priorities.

Links:

The Guardian piece

The Internet Today episode that discusses Christian energy drinks

A pastor's D-Day Facebook post, a Defense Secretary's speech at Normandy, and three nights of fire in Belfast. They're all connected. Fresh off two weeks in Northern Ireland teaching the Troubles, Matthew walks through the riots that broke out after a stabbing in north Belfast, the far-right accounts (including Elon Musk's) pouring gas on it from across an ocean, and why the American officials commenting on it don't seem to know loyalist from republican. He also brings a report from a Burt Jones campaign stop, where some of the rhetoric sounded awfully familiar.

Links:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/jun/11/police-warned-addresses-targeted-belfast-riots

https://districtmagazine.ie/features/on-the-ground-at-the-belfast-riots/

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jun/07/pete-hegseth-d-day-speech-immigration-grotesque-stupidity

https://www.nbcnews.com/world/united-kingdom/belfast-riots-elon-musk-anti-immigrant-violence-stabbing-rcna349384

After a few weeks away, Matthew and Melissa are back — and they're not easing in. The episode opens with Melissa getting quizzed on actual 1960s Southern voting literacy tests (the ones used to keep Black citizens from the ballot box), and it turns out someone with a bachelor's degree in the year 2026 would've failed plenty of them too.

From there, it's a deep dive into the Louisiana v. Callais decision and what it means for the Voting Rights Act. Matthew and Melissa trace the long history behind it: where the word "gerrymander" comes from, the difference between "cracking" and "packing," the Reconstruction amendments, and the 1873 Colfax Massacre and U.S. v. Cruikshank — a story that runs straight from a burning courthouse in Louisiana to the gutting of Section 2 today. Then they break down the ripple effects already underway across the South and beyond (Louisiana, Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, Georgia, Virginia, and more), why Justice Kagan's dissent matters, why Alito's "that was a long time ago" reasoning is so galling, and what an actual fix for gerrymandering would even look like.

Books & authors mentioned: Carol Anderson — The Second: Race and Guns in a Fatally Unequal America; Lee Drutman — Breaking the Two-Party Doom Loop; Steven Levitsky & Daniel Ziblatt — Tyranny of the Minority. Plus the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act and Justice Kagan's Callais dissent. 1960s voting tests: https://secure.splcenter.org/page/67431/survey/1?locale=en-US