I don't like alcohol. It's bitter and unhealthy, and it gets everywhere . . . you know, if you spill it. No sir, alcohol has never been for me, and indeed its popularity is on the decline across the U.S. these days. There was a time, however, when Americans were bonkers for beer, so much so that, when a passionate group of dissenters from this overwhelming liquor love instituted a nationwide ban, many were even willing to break the law to have a taste. Hence the rise of bootleggers, and further hence the events chronicled in The Untouchables, a 1987 crime drama directed by Brian De Palma and based(ish) on the book of the same name by Eliot Ness and Oscar Fraley. This cigar-chomping, machine-gunning examplar of gangster cinema portrays law enforcement's yearslong effort to bring down the infamous Al Capone with De Palma's distinctively smooth style, winning for itself respectable hauls of both kudos and cash. But will Nathan and Elliot raise a glass of illicit moonshine in honor of this crime classic, or will the film fall afoul of a seriously grouchy dinner party host with a penchant for baseball? Doff your fedora and polish your badge as we find out!

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