"Reasonable parenting time" sounds flexible and mature. Until you try to enforce it.

What's reasonable? Every day? Every other weekend? Wednesday dinners? Your ex thinks one thing. You think another. And when you can't agree, you're either spending thousands going back to court or letting your ex control when you see your kids.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why "reasonable" is the laziest, most dangerous clause in parenting plans, and why it's so fucking easy to fix.

I walk through the vague garbage clauses courts love to use, why flexibility fails in high-conflict situations, and what actually works: start times, end times, every single minute accounted for from Sunday to Sunday.

Because if your parenting plan doesn't clearly define when you have your kids, you can't build a relationship with them. And in high-conflict situations, vague language means your ex runs the show.

This is the hill to die on: time with your children.

Stop letting "reasonable" control your time.

The Parenting Plan Masterclass teaches you how to account for every minute—exact pickup times, drop-off locations, every holiday defined, no vague "alternating" bullshit—so you're never begging your ex for time with your kids.

Protect your time.

Your time matters. Define it.

• "Reasonable" is not measurable - You can't enforce what isn't specific. Ten people will give you ten different definitions of "reasonable parenting time."
• Vague language creates war, not flexibility - In high-conflict situations, whoever refuses to cooperate gets control when nothing is defined.
• Every minute should be accounted for - From Sunday to Sunday, you should know exactly who has the child at any given moment based on the parenting plan.
• Undefined holidays and vacation = guaranteed conflict - "Parties will alternate holidays" means nothing. Define every specific holiday, every vacation rule, every blackout date.
• Flexibility fails in high-conflict situations - You crack the window an inch, they take the whole thing. Without specific boundaries, "flexible" becomes "your ex controls everything."
• Time with your kids is the hill to die on - You can't build a relationship if you don't have clearly defined time. This is the one thing worth fighting for in your parenting plan.
• This is the easiest clause to fix - Time is time. Sunday through Saturday. 24 hours a day. There's no excuse for leaving it vague.
• Courts want callback potential - Vague language guarantees future legal fees. A detailed plan means you never need to call your attorney again.

• "Reasonable is not measurable. Ask 10 people what it means, you'll get 10 different answers."
• "Flexibility fails in high-conflict situations. You crack the window an inch, they take the whole thing."
• "The parenting plan IS a contract. Tell me when I have them, when I drop them off. It's super simple."
• "Write your plan so clearly that when crisis hits, you can pull it off the shelf and say 'here's what we're doing Christmas morning.'"
• "Every minute, Sunday to Sunday, should be accounted for. Tuesday at 2:35 PM? I know exactly who has the child."
• "If I don't have my kids, am I even being a parent? I can't build a relationship if time isn't clearly defined."
• "Would Nike and Tiger Woods have a contract that says 'show up when you want, we'll pay as we see fit'? Fuck no."
• "Vague language doesn't protect kids. It protects conflict and lines Larry's pocketbook."

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Joint legal decision-making sounds fair until it traps you.

And I mean literally paralyzes you. Keeps you stuck for years fighting over a field trip form.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why "joint" is just veto power with a nice name. Why the parent who says no gets all the control. Why you'll spend thousands in court arguing about whether your kid can take tap class on Tuesdays.

I walk you through the exact vague clauses that sound cooperative but become weapons the second you try to use them.

Here's the ugly truth: If your parenting plan doesn't spell out major versus minor decisions, joint will keep you stuck, broke, and fighting.

This is what I wish someone had explained to me before I signed.

Ready to stop the veto power trap?

The Parenting Plan Masterclass shows you how to define major vs. minor decisions, build in tie-breaker options, and eliminate veto power before you sign—so you're not calling Larry every time your ex says no.

Learn how.

Stop guessing. Start protecting yourself.

• Why Joint Sounds Great at First – They sell it as fair, cooperative, and “best for the kids” right up until conflict shows up and the whole thing falls apart.
• Joint Equals Veto Power – When agreement is required, silence, delays, and flat-out refusals turn into control.
• The “Major Decisions” Black Hole – If you don’t define it, everything becomes a fight. Field trips. Therapy. Haircuts. Yes, really.
• Education and Medical Minefields – Normal parenting turns into asking permission for every little thing when your plan is sloppy.
• Extracurricular and Religious Wars – One vague sentence is all it takes to block sports, traditions, and entire communities.
• Why Lawyers Say “Just Sign It” – Ambiguity keeps the meter running and guarantees repeat trips to court.
• How to Protect Yourself – Clearly define major vs minor decisions, build in tiebreakers, and wipe out the gray areas before they blow up.

• “Joint legal decision making sounds fair — until it traps you.”
• “Joint doesn’t mean cooperation. It means veto power.”
• “If it’s not measurable, it’s not enforceable.”
• “Vague language doesn’t protect kids. It protects conflict.”
• “Joint can paralyze you for years and keep you in court.”

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What if the document meant to protect your kids is actually the thing that traps you for the next 18 years? Tragic.

I started this podcast because I kept watching parents rush to sign “standard” parenting plans, then wonder why they are stuck for years throwing money at lawyers trying to unf*ck them. In this pilot episode of The Ugly Truth of Divorce, I break down the five clauses that sound reasonable but quietly give your high-conflict ex all the leverage. The vague wording. The loopholes. The crap no one warns you about until you are already knee-deep in it.

If you're exhausted and just want it over with—I get it, really. But slowing down right now will save you years of chaos, money, and regret ( and avoid the worst case scenario—your ex running your life.)

Don't sign anything until you hear this. Listen now.

Want to go deeper?

The Parenting Plan Masterclass walks you through every clause, every trap, and exactly how to write enforceable language that protects you—so you're not stuck fixing garbage for the next 18 years.

Get the Masterclass here.

Know better. Do better.

• "Standard" is a trap. Generic parenting plans are outdated, vague, and designed for cooperative co-parents who don't exist in high-conflict divorces. They sound fair but give one party all the leverage.
• The pressure to sign fast is intentional. When attorneys say "I need your answer by Friday" after a year-long divorce, or "don't worry, we'll fix it later," they're creating urgency that benefits them—not you. Modifications cost thousands and take months.
• Vague language creates control, not cooperation. Phrases like "mutually agree," "open communication," and "in good faith" sound reasonable but have no measurable requirements. Courts can't enforce what isn't specific.
• The damage shows up later—not when you sign. You'll think your plan is fine for weeks or months, until you try to enforce it. Then you realize nothing is enforceable, and you're stuck choosing between spending money you don't have or letting your ex control everything.
• Read your plan wearing your ex's glasses. Don't just read it from your hopeful, cooperative perspective. Read every sentence imagining the worst possible interpretation from someone who doesn't like you, doesn't want to cooperate, and is looking for loopholes.

• “A standard parenting plan will fail you — especially in high-conflict divorce.”
• “The damage doesn’t show up the day you sign. It shows up when you try to enforce it.”
• “Vague language doesn’t create cooperation. It creates control.”
• “If your parenting plan isn’t measurable, it isn’t enforceable.”
• “This isn’t about being nice. It’s about protecting your future with your kids.”
• "They make you feel bad because you question things. They make you feel bad because you want detail. Don't they realize this is OUR future, not theirs? And we just gave them tens of thousands of dollars to make sure our future is protected."
• "You have to take those glasses off and read it as your ex—who most likely is high conflict, or will be at some point in time. Mark my words. It always gets uglier before it gets better."
• "Before you sign, take off your glasses, put their glasses on, and read it as them. Especially if they don't like you."

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