Why does Virginia’s Question 2 matter to my marriage?

My wife Lauri and I voted “yes” on Question 2, the proposed amendment to the Virginia Constitution that would remove the state’s existing constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and require Virginia to recognize and treat all legally valid marriages equally, regardless of sex, gender, or race.

Same-sex marriage is currently protected by the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision. But Virginia’s Constitution still contains the language adopted in 2006 that says only a union between a man and a woman may be recognized as a marriage.

I don't know what would happen to existing same-sex marriages if Obergefell were ever overturned. That's precisely why I think removing that language from Virginia's Constitution matters.

And Question 2 isn't only about same-sex marriage. It would also protect marriage regardless of race, bringing to mind Virginia's history with Loving v. Virginia.

If you live in Virginia, Question 2 is on the 2026 ballot. Here's why it matters to me—and to my marriage.

You can find the transcript at https://spectrumpodcast.org/2026/09/30/why-question-2-matters-to-my-marriage/

00:00 Early Voting Has Begun

00:22 What Is Question 2?

00:49 Why Question 2 Matters to My Marriage

01:03 The Risk If Obergefell Is Overturned

01:55 Why That Risk Isn't Hypothetical

02:22 Explicitly Protecting Our Marriages

02:29 Question 2 Protects More Than Same-Sex Marriage

02:37 Loving v. Virginia and Marriage Equality

03:05 What Question 2 Would Protect

03:14 Why I'm Asking You to Vote Yes

03:28 The American Ideal Behind Question 2

What does it mean to be non-binary when you don’t feel like either a man or a woman?

In this episode of The Spectrum, Kris shares their experience of discovering they are non-binary and agender. For much of their life, Kris simply thought they weren’t very good at being a woman. It wasn’t until the pandemic, when they encountered the language of gender identity and discovered other people with similar experiences, that another possibility began to make sense.

Linda and Kris talk about discovering a non-binary identity later in life, the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, and why being agender is different from other non-binary experiences. They also explore pronouns, language, family, work, medical care, and what it is like to move through a world where people often make assumptions about your gender.

Kris explains why they/them pronouns matter to them, while also describing the complicated reality of being perceived as female despite identifying as agender. They talk about keeping “mom” as a title for their children, finding gender-neutral language that works for their family, and even using their name instead of pronouns when someone is still getting used to they/them.

Most importantly, this is a conversation about discovering that “I don't fit either” can be an identity of its own—and about what it means simply to be recognized as a person.

Find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=860

00:00 What Does It Mean to Be Non-Binary?

00:55 What Does Agender Mean?

01:25 Discovering a Non-Binary Identity

02:54 Growing Up Without Feeling Like a Girl

03:47 “I Don’t Fit Either”

04:10 Pansexuality, Bisexuality and Gender Identity

05:07 Compartmentalizing Gender and Sexuality

06:04 Finding Language and Other People Like Me

08:46 Non-Binary Identity, Marriage and Top Surgery

09:43 Body Dysphoria and Gynecological Care

11:27 Non-Binary Voice, Gender Perception and Pronouns

12:42 Coming Out as Non-Binary to Family and Work

14:01 Non-Binary Parents and Gender-Neutral Language

16:17 Being Non-Binary at Work and in Public

18:01 Non-Binary People and Medical Care

20:11 Being Misgendered and Living as Non-Binary

21:14 Why Pronouns Can Be Complicated

22:02 Choosing Whether to Be Open About Pronouns

23:30 Gender-Neutral Language Beyond Pronouns

24:00 How Non-Binary People Relate to Men and Women

24:49 Why Defaulting to Neutral Language Can Help

25:28 Understanding Non-Binary Identity

26:02 “I’m a Person, Just Like Anyone Else”

26:43 You Don’t Have to Agree With Someone to Be Kind

27:57 One Person’s Experience of Being Non-Binary

The episode explores the history and significance of pronouns in the English language, the challenges of gendered pronouns, the emergence of non-binary pronouns, and the importance of respecting and using correct pronouns for individuals. It emphasizes the impact of pronouns on emotional well-being and the need for acceptance and validation.

Chapters

• 00:00 The History of Pronouns
• 01:36 Gendered Pronouns in English
• 02:44 Non-Binary Pronouns
• 05:57 Resistance to Change
• 07:25 Importance of Using Correct Pronouns
• 11:06 The Problem with Pronouns

You can find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=678

For 58 years, Maria believed she understood who she was.

She thought she was simply someone who occasionally needed to express a different side of herself. Transition wasn't part of the plan.

Then, after the end of a long marriage, she asked herself a simple question:

"What can I do to be happy?"

The answer surprised her.

In this conversation, Maria shares the winding path that led her to transition later in life, why she spent decades believing she was "just" a cross-dresser, how one month of living as Maria changed everything, and why she says she was "suddenly happy" for the first time in her life.

We also talk about:

• Growing up without understanding what she was experiencing
• Living two very different lives
• Marriage, divorce, and moving to France
• Discovering confidence after transition
• Emotional dysphoria
• Why she chose medical transition
• Reconciling the person she used to be with the person she is today

Maria's story is unique, but its themes are universal: searching for happiness, learning to accept yourself, and discovering that it's never too late to become the person you were meant to be.

You can find the transcript at: https://spectrumpodcast.org/?p=597

If this conversation helped you better understand the transgender experience—or simply reminded you that every person has a story worth hearing—please consider liking the video, subscribing, and sharing it with someone else.

The mission of The Spectrum is simple: to humanize LGBTQ+ people by sharing honest conversations with real people.

If you'd like to share your own story on a future episode, we'd love to hear from you.

What does an LGBTQ community center actually do?

I visited Casa BruMar Foundation's new LGBTQIA+ Community Center in Woodbridge, Virginia to find out.

Executive Director Evelyn BruMar gave me a tour of the space and shared the vision behind creating "Our Center"—a place designed to feel like home for LGBTQ people and their families.

But this episode isn't just about the building.

You'll also hear three personal stories:

• A mother describing the moment her transgender son experienced overwhelming gender euphoria after surgery.
• A transgender man sharing a hilarious childhood story about proving he was "really a boy" by touching a worm.
• A gender-affirming therapist explaining the fears many LGBTQ youth face and why supportive spaces matter.

You'll also get a look at Casa BruMar's services, including community programs, a library, food and hygiene pantry, maker space, learning kitchen, and more.

If you've ever wondered what an LGBTQ community center is really like—or why these spaces matter—I hope you'll join me for the visit.

Learn more about Casa BruMar Foundation:
https://casabrumarfoundation.org

Episode Transcript:

We’ve streamlined how you can enjoy The Spectrum: now, you can watch on YouTube, listen as an audio podcast, or subscribe through our brand-new website at spectrumpodcast.org. Thanks to open-source software, the audio podcast feed is now generated automatically from YouTube—so you’ll always get the latest episodes, whichever way you listen.

There are now three easy ways to stay updated: subscribe on our website for email notifications, follow us on YouTube, or use your favorite podcast app with our new RSS feed. All options are free, and your email will never be shared.

The Spectrum is ad-free and not-for-profit. Any revenue beyond costs will go to LGBT+ support organizations. Be sure to check out the new website for transcripts, episode links, and more!

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/06/16/episode-20-housekeeping/

This is an episode that brings some good news at the local and national level. A federal judge blocks Trump's ban on gender affirming care for people under 19. We also look at the failure of a vote in the Shenandoah County School Board to strip parents of the right to tell the school the name and pronouns for their children.

Washington Post article on the temporary restraining order on Trump's ban:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2025/02/13/trump-transgender-health-care-youth-lawsuit/

Current state of policy INB in Shenandoah County Schools:
https://go.boarddocs.com/vsba/shenandoah/Board.nsf/goto?open&id=DCXNPP60AC27

The proposed change to INB:
https://go.boarddocs.com/vsba/shenandoah/Board.nsf/goto?open&id=DDEVWT82C817

Current policy GBAB/JFHAB:
https://go.boarddocs.com/vsba/shenandoah/Board.nsf/goto?open&id=D4DPZZ671EF7

Proposed change to GBAB/JFHAB that failed:
https://go.boarddocs.com/vsba/shenandoah/Board.nsf/goto?open&id=DCS3AF05EB60

WHSV coverage of the school board meeting:
https://www.whsv.com/2025/02/14/shenandoah-county-public-schools-votes-3-2-against-gender-identity-policy-amendments/

The Spectrum - Trump;s Third Transgender Ban (gender affirming care for people under 19):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_qPKTpp1UA

The Spectrum - Changes to School Policy in Shenandoah County for Transgender Students
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuH1nHp02Yo

00:00 Introduction & Federal Judge Blocks Trump Gender-Affirming Care Ban
00:00:23 Shenandoah County School Board Meeting Recap – February 13, 2025
00:00:43 New Policy Proposal on Gender Identity Discussions in Schools
00:01:26 Debate Over Student Support and Gender Identity Policy Changes
00:02:14 School Board Vote on Student Names, Pronouns & Parent Notification Policy
00:02:50 Public Comments and Opposition to Proposed Pronoun Policy Removal
00:03:41 Shenandoah County School Board Vote Results Explained
00:04:05 Concerns About Future Transgender Policy Changes in Schools
00:04:43 How Trump Executive Orders Could Impact Local School Policies
00:05:03 Project 2025, LGBTQ Rights, and Future Advocacy Efforts
00:05:35 Closing Remarks and Community Contact Information

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/02/14/episode-11-shenandoah-county-school-update-february-2025/

This is part 1 of a three part series that explores the life of a transgender woman. We're calling her Emma here but this is not her name. She has chosen to remain anonymous to protect her and her family from the harassment so often directed at transgender people today.

To protect her identity, we've digitally altered her voice and appearance but the emotion you will hear is hers..

This part of Emma's story covers her early childhood through what she calls her breaking point.

00:00 – Introduction to The Spectrum Podcast
00:42 – Emma's Story: Life as a Transgender Woman
01:31 – Early Childhood: Realizing My Gender Identity
02:34 – Hiding the Truth: Growing Up as an Outsider
03:52 – First Representation: Transgender Stories on Television
05:05 – Navigating Puberty and High School Challenges
06:23 – College Life: Using Change as a Coping Mechanism
07:06 – Searching for Normalcy through Relationships
08:51 – Intimacy Struggles and the End of a Relationship
09:45 – Post-Graduation Loneliness and Emotional Isolation
11:19 – Career Distractions and Maintaining a Facade
12:02 – Reaching a Breaking Point and Choosing a New Path
13:20 – Outro: Previewing Part 2 of Emma’s Story

Transcript:

https://spectrumpodcast.org/2025/09/02/episode-27-emmas-story-part-1/