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This episode is not about the moment my father died.

It is about the long goodbye that began more than twenty years earlier, when I first learned my parents were mortal.

In this episode, I reflect on my father’s first brush with death in 1999, the slow decline that followed years later, and what it means to grieve someone in stages. I talk about anticipatory grief, watching a parent lose independence, and how the center of moral authority in a family can quietly shift when a strong voice fades.

I also explore how my relationship with my father existed separately from the rest of my family, how his absence exposed long-standing dynamics, and why shared DNA alone does not always guarantee lasting connection.

This is a story about masculinity, dignity, and inheritance. About fear that hums quietly for decades. And about what remains when the man who taught you how to stand is finally gone.

Themes include anticipatory grief, aging parents, family systems, neurodivergence, mental health, and navigating loss in midlife.

This podcast reflects personal experience, opinion, and information drawn from publicly available court records and historical reporting. It is not intended to assert new allegations or to characterize any individual beyond matters established in public proceedings