In this episode of The Self Experiment, I sit down with Lance Burdett, former New Zealand Police crisis negotiator, to explore what happens to the human mind and identity under extreme pressure.

Drawing from more than two decades on the frontline, Lance shares what he learned from negotiating in life-and-death situations — not from an operational standpoint, but from a deeply human one. Together, they unpack how fear hijacks the brain, why staying calm is a skill rather than a personality trait, and how empathy and presence can shift even the most volatile moments.

The conversation also moves beyond the uniform. Lance opens up about the personal cost of sustained stress, the slow creep of burnout, and the moment he realised he needed to rebuild himself. He reflects on recovery, vulnerability, and how redefining strength became a turning point in his life.

This episode is an honest exploration of resilience, self-awareness, and what it means to remain human in moments that test us most — a reminder that the real work often begins after the crisis ends.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. warreninternational.com

On this episode of The Self Experiment, I sit down with Kalvin Porter, we reflect on our lives, community ties, and the significance of maintaining cultural connections while living abroad. From discussions about our upbringing and the impact of sports on our lives, to the challenges faced in adapting to life in Australia, we delve into the emotional weight of nostalgia and the complexities of identity.

Takeaways:

• The podcast episode emphasizes the importance of maintaining connections to one's cultural roots while living abroad, as exemplified by discussions about our experiences and family ties.
• Listeners are encouraged to appreciate their origins and the influence of cultural heritage on their identities, as we reflect on our upbringing and the impact of our communities.
• The conversations highlight the significance of personal growth and adaptation, particularly in the context of adjusting to life in a new country while preserving traditions from home.
• Insights into the dynamics of friendships and community engagements showcase how these relationships shape personal journeys and contribute to a sense of belonging and identity.
• The episode underscores the challenges of balancing professional aspirations with family responsibilities, particularly for individuals who are navigating career changes and personal development.
• We reflect on the nostalgia associated with our past experiences, illustrating how shared memories and cultural references contribute to our ongoing connection to home.

In this episode, I sit down again with Josh Paurini. We engage in a profound exploration of the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, particularly focusing on his concept of the "Thinker" versus the "Watcher." The discussion highlights the significance of self-awareness and presence in mitigating psychological stress, emphasizing that many human issues arise from the delusion of time, wherein individuals excessively dwell on past grievances or future anxieties. We delve into his creation of a workbook, Awakening For The Scientific Mind, inspired by Tolle’s work, designed to facilitate personal reflection and growth. Furthermore, we consider the implications of these teachings on our daily lives and relationships, advocating for a deeper connection with oneself and others through mindful engagement. Ultimately, we aim to illuminate the path towards a more fulfilling existence by cultivating an awareness that transcends the confines of our egoic minds.

Takeaways:

• The podcast discusses the significance of Eckhart Tolle's teachings, emphasizing the necessity of being present and recognizing the delusion of time.
• We explored the duality of the 'Thinker' and the 'Watcher', highlighting the distinction between impulsive thoughts and the observing self.
• A central theme of our discussion was the importance of emotional awareness in interpersonal relationships and the challenges of communication.
• We examined the concept of 'hay in the barn', illustrating the need for consistent preparation and training to achieve optimal performance in sports.
• The conversation underscored that all human beings experience stress from either past regrets or future anxieties, which can hinder their current well-being.
• Moreover, the episode highlighted the value of self-reflection and personal growth, advocating for a mindful approach to life's challenges.